#her trauma intrigues and destroys me every time

[trappedinchemicalplantzone]

rewatching arcane with a friend

[naminethewriter]

Thank You for Finding Me

Chapter Three: Talking It Out

Masterpost | First | Previous | Next | Ao3

@intrulogicalweek

Story Summary: Logan didn’t date or really had any friends but when this strange guy asks him out while complimenting his posterior, he can’t help but be intrigued.

Content Warnings: Rage room, Discussions of Unhappy Childhood

~~*~~

For around twenty minutes, Logan just let himself feel and destroy. Every time he felt dismissed by his parents bubbled up again and he first threw more plates before Remus put the metal bat in his hand again and pointed him to the tv.

It was a very old model that resembled the one his parents had during his childhood. He hadn’t been allowed to watch any program that his parents hadn’t approved of. They all watched the news together. It wasn’t the worst, but it did bring up a new flood of unpleasant memories. The isolation he felt at school when all his classmates talked about their favorite shows or games he wasn’t allowed to own.

The bat had shattered the screen on the first hit.

Eventually Remus handed him the sledgehammer. It had made it all the more satisfying.

Despite Logan’s new state fueled by the desire to destroy, he was always aware of where Remus was in the room and ensured he wasn’t caught up in his anger even slightly. Though Remus kept himself out of the way just fine, cheering Logan on as he himself kicked the chairs into splinters.

Logan let the sledgehammer fall to the ground when he was done. His arms ached and he was out of breath, but he hadn’t felt so light in a long, long time. He stumbled back to the door and leaned against it. He would have sat down if the ground wasn’t covered with glass and plastic shards and wooden splinters.

“You good?” Remus asked, breaking a chair leg over his thigh.

“Yes. I think my arms will be sore tomorrow, but I feel great. I think I am done for today, however.”

“Yeah, that tracks. You just experienced a lot at once. How about we grab a drink and talk about it? Letting anger out like this is great, but I feel like I just made you realize a lot of trauma and you can’t really process that without talking about it. Though I’m also okay if you have someone else in mind you’d rather do that with. Just wanted to offer.”

Logan was pretty sure that was the first time he saw Remus flustered. His cheeks were a bit red, and he scratched at his mustache.

“No, a drink with you sounds lovely. I would like to learn more about you, too.”

“Good! Great! Let’s go.”

Logan chuckled lightly, the expression on Remus’ face was precious in his opinion. It seemed like sincerity disarmed him rather quickly.

They returned to the dressing room and put all the equipment back where they took it from. On their way out, Amanda smiled.

“Had fun?”

“Fuck yeah! You should’ve seen him take apart that tv, it was so hot.”

Amanda rolled her eyes fondly and clicked a few things on her computer.

“There’s your total. Thank you for your patronage.”

Remus tapped his card against the reader and winked at her.

“See ya soon!”

“I don’t doubt it!” she called after them as Remus once again held open the door for Logan.

“How regularly do you come here?”

“Couple times a month, usually. Got a membership, so I get a nice discount.”

“And how are they supplied with the items?”

“Well, some are donations from customers, some are from deals they have with other stores like this one.” Remus pointed to the electronics store that Logan noticed on their way in. “They basically accept old electronics and take them apart to see what they can still use and give the rest downstairs. The tv you went ham on probably had some hardware taken out of it prior. And then there’s junkyards that are willing to give them things too.”

“Very interesting. On to another matter, however, what kind of drinks were you imagining? I am driving, so I cannot drink alcohol.” Logan usually came to work by bike, but he hadn’t known for how long Remus’ planned activities would last, so he figured taking the car was the safer option.

“That’s cool. I’m not really into spontaneous drinking either. I was more thinking coffee or sodas or something.”

“I would like a coffee,” Logan agreed. “And I would like to pay for it.”

“Sounds good.”

They walked in comfortable silence to a nearby coffee shop and both selected their drinks. Remus asked if they wanted to sit down but Logan found he now had a lot of nervous energy he wanted to walk off. So instead, they made their way to the nearby park.

“How would you like to talk about it?” Remus eventually asked. “Should I ask questions? Do you wanna talk and I just let you ramble?” He waved his hand around in an ‘et cetera’ motion and Logan smiled, grateful for his thoughtfulness.

“I would like to hear about your thoughts, actually. What were you thinking about when you hit that shelf for example?”

“Well, mostly work stuff. I’m a teacher and some of my colleagues are annoying. Nothing major but it’s been frustrating recently.”

“I am surprised. You don’t strike me as someone who’d want to be a teacher.”

Remus chuckled.

“You’re not the only one. But it’s been on my mind since my school days actually. It’s probably easy to imagine that I had my struggles. I was hella smart, but I had an ‘attitude problem’ according to most of my teachers. Made it hard to enjoy learning when they criticized me for every small thing. Felt like no one was on my side for the most part. So, I decided I wanted to become a teacher and be on the side of kids like me who didn’t fit in easily. And I think that’s working out rather well.”

“That’s wonderful, Remus.”

“Thank you! When I told my parents about it, I think I changed their view of me quite a bit.”

“How so?”

“Well, they always favored Roman over me. Not sure if they were all that aware of it but I sure felt it. They didn’t like the way I dressed all that much or that I started dyeing my hair. They didn’t interfere or anything, but they’d make comments. And they believed the teachers when they accused me of starting fights and talking back for no reason. When I enrolled in college for my teaching degree was the point where they realized that I was serious about the whole thing, I think. They’ve been a lot kinder to me since.”

“What about your brother?” Logan asked. He was very curious how similar the brothers were to each other.

“We didn’t share a lot of classes in high school, so he couldn’t really say one way or the other. He was there for me when it mattered but he also had a lot of friends and after-school activities, so he was out a lot. We went to the same college though. It was a lot of fun. He lives a few hours away now and I kinda miss him. Not that I would ever tell him that.”

“I see…”

“You good?” Remus asked quietly. They passed an empty bench and Remus gestured at it as if to ask if they wanted to sit down. Logan nodded and let himself sink onto the wood. The sun danced through the leaves of a nearby tree, and he took a deep breath.

“Yes. I was just wondering what it would have been like if I had a sibling. My parents told me when I asked if I would get one, that they only needed me to inherit their assets. Another child would just complicate things.”

“That sounds harsh.” Remus had sprawled out on the bench, his arms slung over the backrest and his back melted against the wood. In contrast, Logan maintained his upright posture, just how his mother had taught him.

“Maybe. I already knew that I was born for a purpose, so I wasn’t all that surprised. When my grandfather heard about it though, he was furious.”

“He sounds like he was a cool guy.”

“He was more open than my parents, but he still wasn’t that different. He had raised my father after all. Until he retired, I rarely met him. It was afterwards when he had time that he started to care. He agreed with my parents that knowledge was the most important thing and made sure that I had the best education I could have but he also said that all that knowledge was worthless if it wasn’t used to lead the life I wanted to live. That’s why he got my parents to let him take care of me. He wanted me to make my own choices, that’s all. If I wanted to read a novel instead of a philosophy book, then that was fine by him. But emotional expression wasn’t something he excelled at either. None of them had much appreciation for the arts either.”

“Ouch. Artistic expression was a big thing in my family. Ro does theater and writing. I do more drawing and sculpting. Mom’s a dancer and dad can play so many instruments, it’s crazy. But yeah, no wonder you had so much repressed anger. That sounds like one bleak childhood.”

“It wasn’t all bad. Like I said, I enjoyed playing the piano. And sometimes my mother would do a jigsaw puzzle with me. It wasn’t much but she’d smile at me when we’d finish one. Father and I read together. They got me a DS and the Professor Layton games when I explained to them that it included a lot of puzzles. They praised and rewarded me when I got good grades. Grandfather even got my father to agree to foregoing his inheritance so that I could have it all. I can be a librarian and not worry about expenses. I know they cared for me in some ways.”

Silence hung between them for a moment and Logan watched the steam rise from his coffee cup. He took a sip, and it tasted just right.

“I’m glad you can do what you want now. But you went through a lot to get here and I’m proud of you for making it. You’ve worked hard.”

The sincerity in Remus’ words brought tears to Logan’s eyes.

“Thank you. I’m proud of you, too. You looked at your hardships and decided to make sure the same thing wouldn’t happen to other children. That’s wonderful.”

“Thanks, Lolo. That means a lot.”

They smiled at each other and the world seemed just a little bit brighter.

[whyshouldihaveanam3]

Taylor Swift x ACOTAR

Feyre Acheron and Tamlin's relationship in ACOTAR is the embodiment of All Too Well 10 Minute Version. Fight me if you want but it all adds up.

'Your sweet disposition' = Tamlin, no he wasn't exactly sweet, but Feyre had a 'Wide eyed gaze' when she first stepped into the Spring Court. Terrified, but intrigued.

'And I no it's long gone, and that magics not here no more' = obviously when she comes back from UTM. She misses that relationship her and Tamlin had, but it hurts to keep trying. The glee and magic she found in it as a human is gone as she becomes fae. Though the world is meant to seem brighter all she sees is darkness, misery.

'You taught me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me' = Pretty obvious I suppose. Tamlin wanted Feyre in his future so told her about his experiences with his Father and brothers. How he was never even meant to be High Lord.

'You were tossing me the car keys, fuck the patriarchy, key chain on the ground' = This one is a stretch, but think of it metaphorically. He tells Feyre about a bunch of stuff he wants to change. How she can be his, but he doesn't give her the freedom she deserves. He throws it at her feet, just out of reach.

'After three months in the grave' = Three months UTM ruined their relationship.

'And you wondered where I went to as I reach for you, but all I felt was shame. And you held my lifeless frame' = When Feyre begs Tamlin to let her out, try and break down the barriers. She doesn't want to be trapped, she wants to be let out. But Tamlin won't let her, he locks her away out of reach. She's a lifeless frame and he only realises after his own rage, when he holds her.

'There was nothing else I could do' = She knows she can't do anything. Dammit, she wants too, but she can'.

'You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath' = Tamlin initially kept her secret, from the Attor from Amourantha. Feyre kept their relationship more hidden, even from Lucien for a while. She kept so much a secret even when Rhysand took her for the first time, even when she began to feel safe. She tried, did Tamlin try as much?

'But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up' = Self explanatory. Tamlin shredded their relationship. Is he the only reason they didn't last? No. I wouldn't say so, but he was more outwardly destructive (ruining the study, damaging walls etc) than Feyre ever was.

'I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here' = Feyre is fucking broken. After everything UTM she is a shell of a person, less than that, and Tamlin's rage only makes her feel worse.

'The idea you had of me, who was she? Some never needy ever lovely jewel, who's shine reflects on you' = Tamlin can't see Feyre for who she is after her trauma ATM. She's broken, he's broken, he refuses (or is too upset) too see how badly it's really turned out. He still sees her as a weak human, the girl he stole from the woods that year. He still sees her as the weak that makes him stronger. He doesn't want to see her as she is now, out of ignorance perhaps, but also to try and deny everything that's happened.

'Not weeping in a party bathroom, some actress asking me what happened' = Lucien is the actress here, he's asking her what happened. He's being sympathetic, having the empathy his friend doesn't. He can see how destroyed Feyre is. He saw it UTM as well. Saw every second of change within her.

'Time won't fly it's like I'm paralysed by it' = She's so deep into her own depression, she can barely even register how time is passing, how every day she's trapped in the same routine. How Tamlin isn't there to help her, to hold her, to move her.

'I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it' = The wish I think they both have for things to return to normal the moment after everything happened UTM. Tamlin, on the surface, easily falls back into routine but Feyre can't.

'Back before you'd lost the one real thing you'd ever known' = Tamlin's only, as far as we know of, true feelings of love start with Feyre. He lost her because of his own mistakes, they both changed but not both of them grew or accepted that.

'Cause in the city's barren cold, I still remember the first fall of snow. And how it glistened as it fell.' = Feyre remembers the golden days, the days where she started seeing everything with the colour and the happiness. When she was still human but when the Spring Court was less terrifying, more like a home.

ANYWAY, essay complete. This ramble turned into a fucking English essay lmao. Sorry. Oh yeah, no Tamlin hate please. Pretty please. I feel kind of bad for him. I just ATWTMV'd him, no one deserves that, not really.

[seradyn]

Ruvik, Karl and the daemon bastard husband Ardyn 😂💙

YES MY BOIS 👏💕👏

Gonna go in the order you listed 😉

Was gonna add video clips of my favorite moments, but you can only do one per post, so the rest are gifs 😭😭

Ruvik

First impression: Woah, who is this guy, and why is he so powerful? Is he a demon? A vengeful spirit? I am very intrigued.

Impression now: Oh god he’s tragic. OH GOD HE’S TRAGIC.

Favorite moment: In the first Kidman DLC, The Assignment, Ruvik has some absolutely spectacular dialogue with her and Leslie at the very end, after cornering them in the church. It gives me chills every time and the delivery is perfect.

“We’re all their pawns, eventual victims.

They killed me! They ripped me apart, and took what they needed.

I will destroy what they wish to control.”

The elevator scene with Sebastian is also great, but man this one is just sublime in every way.

Idea for a story: I’ve been playing with the idea for a x Reader fic with him, one in which they essentially kill him with kindness. He hasn’t experienced kindness or affection since the accident, so I’m excited to explore his character dealing with someone who doesn’t immediately find him repulsive or isn’t intimidated by him. There will also be lots of bumbling on his end, cause even though he’s smart af, he doesn’t know the first thing about relationships 😂

Unpopular opinion: He deserves compassion, and hating him is extremely shortsighted. Yes, he did terrible things, no one is debating that, but choosing to ignore the broken pieces of his humanity left in the game is being deliberately obtuse. Not saying you shouldn’t or can’t hate him, but it shouldn’t be without acknowledging his trauma. And putting others down for not hating him is downright juvenile.

Favorite relationship: I’m all about that self ship, which is probably his best bet at getting any romance, based on being…well, a serial killer. Some of my friends have shown me Ruvik x Stefano though, and that relationship would be interesting to say the least 😆

Favorite head cannon: Touch starved af and craves affection. Although touch starved is basically cannon, I think he also deeply craves some kind of connection with someone. He lost everyone he cared about; his sister died in the fire, his parents locked him in a basement, his research partner betrayed him, which lead to his death (the one he’s discussing in the above quote). I head cannon he longs for someone he can trust, really trust, and anguishes over his loneliness.

Moving on…

Karl Heisenberg

First impression: I hadn’t played the game, but I’d seen pictures of him. For some reason I thought he was the main villain, and was working with Chris to make the main character help him (no fucking clue how I arrived here 🤣🤣). Thought he was some big, gruff man who didn’t talk much and smiled even less. Why does he look like Ardyn?

Impression now: LMAOOO THIS DUDE IS A MASSIVE TROLL AND I AM SO HERE FOR IT 😂😂😂 I could not have been more wrong about him (or the plot, still not sure how I got there). He’s funny and I love his smile, and how much of a tool he is. I must say, I did not expect his voice to sound the way it does, but I’m not complaining 🥰

Favorite moment: Why isn’t there more of him why isn’t there more WHY ISN’T THERE MORE??? Anyway, probably when he tries to convince Ethan to work with him.

“Neither did I! But here we are.

And I’m next in line, right? Kill me, move up the chain!

Well, fuck that!”

He’s so animated here, I love it 🥰

Idea for a story: I’ve already mentioned I got something cookin in the old noggin, but I have more details on what I want to happen now, so I’ll be happy to share them! Surprise surprise, it’s x Reader, where they’re a botanist sent to survey the remote mountains of Romania. Collect data on the plants there for the university they work at, along with two colleagues who are cartographers, going to update outdated maps of the area. They get captured and typical RE shenanigans ensue, but I also want reader to be connected to Umbrella somehow, which I hope you can help me with. I want Miranda to know too, so she starts sending reader to all the Lords to see what happens. Little does she know reader starts to osmose some of all their powers, turning into something far more dangerous than she could’ve imagined.

That’s all I got for now, no more spoilers! Unless you want them 😉

Unpopular opinion: He has more respect for his partners than some of you seem to think. I’ve read plenty of stories where Karl is super hands on with his partner, slapping their ass and manhandling them all the time, sometimes hours after meeting them. Not my fuckin Heisenberg. He keeps his hands to himself, unless he has explicitly gotten permission to do any touching. Honestly wish some of y’all would tag your stories when you make him all grabby, it’s kinda triggering for me.

Favorite relationship: My first answer is going to be x Reader for all of these, I’m a sucker for the stuff. Although Karl x Ethan sounds endlessly amusing to me. Karl would be the puppy bouncing around everywhere while Ethan would brood in a corner 😂

Favorite head cannon: Extremely sensitive to trauma responses, and is good at comforting, due to the things Miranda did to him. He doesn’t want anyone he likes to know what that helplessness or fear feelings like.

Last, but the farthest thing from least…

Ardyn Izunia Lucis Caelum

First impression: I knew he was the villain before I started the game, but that’s all I knew. Thought he was funny as I actually got into the game, and why the hell is he everywhere??

Impression now: GREEK PLAY LEVEL TRAGIC HERO AND MY HEART ETERNALLY ACHES FOR HIM. Seriously, they did NOT need to fuck Ardyn up so much, there’s plenty of shit that happened to him that could make someone a villain by itself. But the gods and Squenix said ‘fuck this guy in particular’. I thought y’all called him ‘trash Jesus’ cause he looks like the guy, but NOOOOO there’s actually fucking parallels between the two. The healer, the betrayal, the crucifixion…not exactly subtle when you take the time to look. Aside from all that, I still love how funny he is, he always makes me laugh (when he’s not making me cry), and he’s super smart. Plus, I will always admire how he made it so he wins no matter what happens in the end. That takes some galaxy brain level planning.

Favorite moment: Imma let it speak for itself;

“You think ten years is a long time? It is nothing to me!

I have lived in darkness for AGES!”

God, the fucking level of emotion absolutely dripping from that last word kills me very time. Darin de Paul did excellently with Ardyn’s lines up until that point, but this one hits differently. The sheer anguish and sorrow you can hear in his voice is breathtaking. Made worse when you realize he’s being literal…he has spent actual ages locked in a dark cell. Words can’t properly give it credit.

Idea for a story: yall chapter 11 of ADCT is gonna be like 10k+ words 😂😂 Not done yet and it’s already at 7k lol. Hope that makes up for the 6 month hiatus 😵‍💫 Aside from that though, I have another idea for a long fic, albeit a shorter one. Where reader gets washed up on Angelgard before Verstael, and is horrified to find Ardyn strung up on the island. After freeing him, they have to work together to try to survive, figuring out how to get food, water, and fight off hypothermia. Verstael eventually arrives, and takes both of them back to Niflehiem.

Unpopular opinion: Most handsome character in FFXV by a long shot. He’s in space.

Favorite relationship: Apart from x Reader, I’m boring for this one. Ardyn x Aera, they’re so sweet and cute together. Forever bitter Ardyn didn’t get to reunite with her at the end. I know some people dig Ardyn x Gilgamesh, but meh, it’s just not for me. Hope y’all who do like it have fun with it though 😁

Favorite head cannon: Absolute teddy bear with his SOs, fucking bastard troll man with everyone else. Dynamic is super fun and amusing to me, I love the thought of him being a bean one moment then turning around and roasting Ravus with political talk the next. Oh, I also love the thought that he has a massive sweet tooth. Since his hair didn’t grow at all during his time on Angelgard, I like to think his body is in some kind of stasis, that it can’t be changed, and Ardyn takes full advantage of that. He’s got at least three different types of cake in his fridge, and several pints of ice cream in the freezer. He also keeps candy bars in his desk.

Thank you so much for this ask, it was a ton of fun to write! 😁😁

[writing-for-life]

Tell me more about your OC, Thalia! How did you get the idea for her? What’s your fav part about her? Any thoughts about her as a character that ended up on the cutting room floor?

I love those questions! My OCs are my babies, I love talking about them!

I’m super used to writing OCs since that’s usually all I write (The Light of Stars is actually my first fanfic, believe it or not, but I’ve written original stories for literal decades).

Funnily enough, Thalia started with… the name. I knew from the start there would be a lot of references to Greek mythology. Too much to mention here, people who read the fic will know, but I had this idea about Psyche’s journey to the underworld I wanted to reference at some point, and I also wanted a reference to a muse. Thalia had the nicest ring to it while being somewhat referential. Sometimes it’s really as simple as that 😂 I pronounce her Tah-lee-ya btw (it’s a less common pronunciation of that spelling, but it exists. I just didn’t want to spell her Talia for obvious reasons, but she totally sounds like it. And now I’ve destroyed the sound at least half of my readers had in their heads 🙈).

Thalia is the muse of comedy, and I wanted some of that in her. She has this intelligent sense of humour that is both genuine but also a coping mechanism, and it made for an interesting dynamic with Morpheus, who is always so serious. Her humour is, albeit observational, warm. She’s not a cynic although she has every reason to be, and I guess he knows that because he knows her story and what she’s been through, and it probably makes him think. He finds her challenging, but there is also an honesty and emotional openness to her, especially about her own hurt/darkness, that he finds intriguing. And that honesty also extends to how she relates to him—she is someone who actually sees him in the truest sense of the word, and it’s something he both needs so desperately but also finds impossible to trust and fully give in to for a very long time, and for a lot of reasons.

I guess the idea was to find someone who is in many ways like him (only in terms of shared human experience) but has a completely different way of dealing with it. It is, although a love story, at its core an exploration of trauma, loss and grief, of second or even third chances at life (however you might define the latter), and I’d long wondered what would happen if he met someone who is NOT trying to change him. They have their problems and conflicts, yes, but ultimately, this is about a deep mutual understanding that hinges on acceptance. And that acceptance is possible because it was there from the start, for reasons that I won’t give away here, but they are deeply rooted in how she always related to who and what he is on a conceptual level. And now I’m writing the sequel, and it becomes even more important.

My favourite part about her must be how she has the ability to make him laugh? Like, little by little, from something that barely makes him cock an eyebrow to a tug on the corners of his mouth to little smiles that get more frequent. And that moment when he sees the painting and actually realises he *is* like that around her was weirdly emotional to write because it wasn’t planned.

Plus, that she gets him to the stage where his laughs are actually audible, and they’re *not* weird. Well, at least not *that* weird. And from a writer’s point of view, it felt like a really natural, gradual progression that just happened, so it wasn’t something I had plotted. They just did their thing, and I wrote it down 😂

The stuff that ended up on the cutting room floor was mostly related to the no mortals rule. I explored a lot of different angles but ultimately didn’t want her to be a goddess or witch or somehow overpowered to circumvent that, it just didn’t sit right with me. So I spent a lot of time on setting up different beats that might look like one thing or another, but without giving too much away: The whole story hinges on her humanity and mortality, and it was ultimately the only thing that made sense.

Thanks again for the ask. It was a really good opportunity to talk about character creation/development, because so often, people seem to believe that all OCs are straightforward self-inserts, and nothing could be farther from the truth (OC fics aren’t reader fics). It’s impossible for characters not to have little bits of us because they come out of our brains, but they aren’t mirror images. I sometimes give characters little bits I’m confident in writing authentically without having to do a lot of research. For Thalia, it was drawing/painting. I had other female OCs that rode a motorcycle or did a martial art I’ve been familiar with since my childhood, others again were professional performers. I find I can write these things without overwriting them because I know what they feel like. Because sometimes, people will research these things and write them like an instruction manual. And while the detail is correct, someone who really *does* these things would never describe them that way. But that’s often really as far as it goes. It pains me to say that I’m far more like Morpheus than like Thalia, but I didn’t need to self-insert for that to be the case 😂

And now I want to know: What’s your favourite part about her and their dynamic? Other readers are welcome to chime in, too.

[editoress]

@hooded-and-cloaked said: I’ve never read any SJM books, but aside from the plagiarism, can you elaborate on the writing crutches that you’ve also seen in other books (for my edification. I haven’t written in years, but maybe I will again)?

For sure!

Perhaps the broadest and most egregious thing I keep encountering is super special omnipotent characters. SJM loves to heap on unlikely inheritances, never-before-seen powers, connections to gods, etc., onto the same person. I think there's real fun to be had with overpowered characters, but in her writing, it's purely a bestowing of authorial favor. And it's EVERY time. The protagonist gets the most powers and advantages; secondary characters get less but still have insane, impossible gifts compared to most people in the world; and if any of the heroes misbehave, they lose what makes them special as a consequence.

The reason I call this a crutch and not just an annoyance is because her characters aren't very strong—you know, writing wise. They act inconsistently, and she has no sense of nuance or moral gray area when writing their decisions. Sooo I'm not sure whether giving them super-special-awesome powers is shorthand to let the reader know who to like (e.g. the protag has seven magic powers, therefore she is the coolest, therefore she should be liked the most)? Or if it's an attempt to make the characters more interesting, or what? But it's tiring and unnecessary. The truth is that if you hand me a well-written character, whether they're a scruffy nobody or have godlike powers, I'll like them!

Related to the superpowers is the way the stakes of the story make insane jumps and become impersonal. In short, her plots aren't very good. Later villains are one-note, moustache-twirling forces of evil who are going to destroy the entire world for no reason unless the heroes stop them. Basically, SJM uses the highest stakes imaginable (world blows up, etc.) in lieu of planning out a plot with any intrigue or complexity.

A lot of new authors have bought into the idea of a Force of Evil rather than a villain, some nebulous badness that must be defeated. And to me, that's lazy writing. Come up with an interesting reason for someone to oppose your heroes! Give me a villain and a plot!

Anyway, to accomplish these stakes half the time, she has to retcon everything. It's another side effect of her not planning out her world or her story: she finds herself stuck in a corner, having to make something up. (It's also a side effect of her work no longer being edited.) This is absolutely a crutch, and she leans all her weight on it. She presents things that contradict earlier writing in order to achieve:

more powers bestowed upon the protagonist (Even though we know her heritage already, she is ALSO related to ANOTHER magical being!)

an even bigger bad force (I know we said the last guy was the only one who could use the demon powers, but now there's another one who is somehow worse!)

moving characters from the Good to Bad category or vise versa (Actually he never did that bad thing earlier! He's never done anything wrong in his life!)

I see a lot of that last bullet point especially in other books. Rather than character development, some authors spring for explaining away a character's crimes. Hastily wiping clean the slate rather than letting a story work through anything. Boooooo.

Retconning is straight up awful writing and I'm tired of seeing it. It's so much fun to create a world and rules within it, and then make characters work within those limits! Breaking those rules very occasionally can be such a great dramatic hit. But constantly? No. Stop lying to me in every book. >:[

Last but not least, SJM needed a way for all of her female characters to be sad and frightened and undeniably damaged, and it's rape trauma. Around every figurative corner is another woman with PTSD from rape. It's a shortcut to get the audience's sympathy and show you that a character is a broken woman who needs love. But please note that several of her male characters have also been raped, and that's just kind of :/ and never brought up again. And while some authors have written characters with rape trauma and done it well, many have not. At all.

So yeah, I wish new authors wouldn't copy the class clown's homework.

[geekyglimpses-nest]

6. She's (Not) The One

Warnings: +18 minor don't interact, slow burn, graphic language, humor, sexual content, physical trauma, blood (gore), bodies/corpses, death, drug use, guns, murder (atempted), PTSD, violence, english is not my first language.

Summary: Delaney finds herself on a rollercoaster of emotions and unexpected twists. As she grapples with some pretty tough challenges, she's also unsure about where she stands with Layla, making her question the strength of their bond. Delaney's visions hint at a future that's both intriguing and uncertainfor her and those around her.

Word Count: 4,352 words (26 minutes max)

Notes at the end of chapter

♪ The Ink From Books - Sleeping At Last♪

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“I’ve had a vision” says the asgardian “A whirlpool that sucks in all hope of life, and at it’s center is that” says as he points at his head

“What? the gem?” asks the scientific

“It’s the Mind Stone. It’s one of the six Infinity Stones, the greatest power of the universes unparalleled in its destructive capabilities.”

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“I looked in your head and saw annihilation”

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“Their powers, the horrors in our heads, Ultron himself they all come from the Mind Stone. And they’re nothing compared to what it can unleash.” Says the asgardian.

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The Nine Realms are not eternal. They had a dawn as they will have a dusk. But before that dawn the dark forces, The Dark Elves, reigned absolute and unchallenged” says the Asgardian God “Their leader Malekeith made a weapon out of that darkness and it was called the Aether. While the other relics often appear as stones the Aether is fluid and ever changing. It changes matter into dark matter. It seeks out host bodies, drawing strength from their life force. Malekith sought to use the Aether’s power to return the universe to one of darkness”

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“The Tesseract was the jewel of Odin’s treasure room. It is not something one buries” says Schmidt when he breaks the fake Tesseract “Yggdrasil. Tree of the world. Guardian of wisdom. And fate, also” he says as he takes the real Tesseract

“Fool! You cannot control the power you hold. You will burn!” says the old man as he is shot by Schmidt

“I have the power of the Gods in my hands”

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“At the dawn of the universe, there was nothing. Then… BOOM! The Big Bang sent six elemental crystals… hurtling across the virgin universe. These Infinity Stones each control an essential aspect of existence.” says the librarian

“Space. Reality. Power. Soul. Mind. And Time” says the Sourcer Supreme.

“Tell me his name again” asks the multimillionaire

“Thanos. He’s a plague Tony. He invades planets. He takes what he wants. He wipes put half the population. He sent Loki. The attack on New York, that’s him.” says the scientific desperate

“This is it” whispers the philanthropist “What’s our timeline?”

“No telling. He has the Power Stone and Space Stones. That already makes him the strongest creature in the whole universe. If he gets his hands on all six stones, Tony…”

“He could destroy life on a scale hitherto undreamed of.”

─━─━─━─「✦」─━─━─━─

1 year 4 months later (2018)…

The dreams are back, they invade my sleep every night. I haven’t slept for weeks now.

My body, my brain, something in me screams that something is wrong, horribly wrong. I wake up bathed in sweat, my body pulses and vibrates with an energy that accompanies me for the rest of my days, since I rise until I lay in bed. Only to stare at the ceiling as a terrible pressure installs on my body and endless headaches plague my sleep.

I haven’t seen Layla for the same reason. She’s been staying in her apartment the last week or so because she’s been preparing for a very important presentation to some investors to finally open her own design studio. We talk to each other when we both have free time, lately that seems to be more difficult to find.

I have found that the possible reason for this… dreams is because of how much hours Elodie and I have been spending on the quantum and time traveling research and the multiverse theories.

These visions… or dreams seem to be too specific to be merely elaborated by a tired mind full of data and information. Everything about them feels too real to just be mere dreams. I’ve had this kind of very vivid dreams since I’ve had a memory, they’ve been with me most of my life but this time… they seem more intense. I’m conscious in them, my mind is aware that I’m dreaming but there’s a voice in the back of my head that says they’re not just dreams. They’re always short, very short. Just when I start to piece things together, or at least I think I am, It all ends and I wake up with nothing but fragments of this dreams. Voices. Must of them are…warnings of something.

Yesterday I ended up sleeping in one of the coaches in my office. As I stand an almost electric flow of energy runs through my body and I shake. The day hasn’t even started and a headache is splitting my head in two already, it usually happens when I sleep in a very uncomfortable position. I look at my phone and see I have two missed calls from Layla, I listen to the voicemail she leaves behind as I go to the bathroom to wash my face and teeth.

“Hey beautiful, I just got home and I hadn’t read the text of you staying in the lab tonight, so now I’m kinda of in a bad mood cause I really wanted to come home to you and I don’t know… watch a movie or something before tomorrow, but don’t worry, I know you didn’t do it on purpose. I know how important is this research for you. So I guess I’ll take this time to work on my own stuff before going to sleep. Anyway I just wanted to say I love you and I hope everything works fine over there and please for gods sake, don’t forget tomorrows date because I’m very exited about it. Love you and please rest, bye.”

Yeah, I definitely forgot and she knows it, that’s her subtle reminder to me, I sigh and exit the office. The first thing I see is Elodie’s slopped body on her desk, her glasses are long gone and her mouth is slightly open, gentle snoring coming out of it. I call for Brixton and his by my side in seconds, I grab his leash and we both walk outside. There’s a small coffee shop a few steps away from the lab, is not as good as the one Layla used to work at but it does the job to wake me and shake the bad mood off my body.

Today’s morning on Enumclaw is gray and windy, seems like rain is going to happen very soon. On my walk there I see people on their daily morning runs, some of them recognize me and they wave at me, I do the same with a bit less energy. I see mothers, fathers, sons and daughters walking to the school bus stop.

When I reach the small coffee shop, the cashier and bartender, Adam recognizes me.

“Doctor, good morning and hello to you too Brixton” Brixton barks once, Adam smiles at him “The usual?”

“Please, make it two” he nods and starts to work on my order. The T.V. in the cafeteria is on the news channel

“Hey Adam, would you mind turning up the volume of the T.V?” says the young lady who’s having coffee, she’s here every morning when I come for coffee too, her laptop prompt in front of her, she takes her glasses of and looks at the T.V. Adam does as he’s asked and also stares at the T.V. I do too out of curiosity.

“Good morning Washington. Today we were woken with the news that once again, New York City was visited and attacked by aliens. Jackson Norris is on the ground and has more details about this event, we’re listening to you Jackson”

“Good morning Will. We’re currently located in the W. 43rd St. We were told by witnesses here is where everything began. They say a circular spaceship came out of nowhere and that’s when fear and panic invaded the streets of New York once again. People started running and seeking for shelter of the terror that had begun on the streets. First responders were alerted to evacuate all citizens south of 43rd st. by the Iron Man” I tense. Shit, that’s part of Hell’s Kitchen “In the battle field that was left behind witness say the Iron Man, Bruce Banner, Stephen Strange and Wong were seen speaking with such aliens before they started to engage on a brutal fight that certainly left wreckage and destruction behind”

The image of Jackson Norris is interrupted to be replaced by a shaky video taken by someone inside one of the buildings. One of two alien like forms speak on one side of the street and Stark, Banner, Strange and Wong in the other. Winds of dust and trash travel through the streets, cars are on fire, fallen light stops, debris everywhere to be seen. Local shops have shattered windows, behind them frighten civilians hide from the streets.

“Hear me and rejoice” pronounces one of the aliens “You are about to die at the hands of The Children of Thanos. Be thankful that your meaningless lives are now contributing…”

“I’m sorry, Earth is closed today” interrupts Tony Stark “You better pack it up and get outta here.”

“Stonekeeper. Does this chattering animal speak for you?”

“Certainly not. I speak for myself. You’re trespassing in this city and on this planet.” Strange and Wong come forward and orange circles surround their fists.

“He means get lost, Squidward” says Stark

The other alien starts to run towards them and Tony Stark’s body is soon transformed and protected by the Iron Man suit. The alien seems is about to hit Iron Man but is surprised by one of his potent light beams, the video ends with the screams of the people behind the video. The image of Jackson Norris is back on the screen

“The fight then moved to a nearby park where the local superhero, Spider-man was also seen joining this fight. Not shortly after this, Stephen Strange and Spider-man where abducted by the spaceship and taken away from the atmosphere of our planet, the figure of Iron Man was seen flying behind them too. For all we know they’re all reported as MIA. The people of New York were saved from a possible tragic event that fortunately ended before it started. Nearby hospitals report there are no losses to be mourned, just a couple injured. The citizens of this city have developed yet another trauma related to alien invasions. Thankfully another of New York’s local heroes known as The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen has been spotted helping civilians get to their homes safe or to nearby hospitals to be treated. It’s been hours since the attack and the press hasn’t received any updates from the Avengers organization or the UN. A press conference will be held in couple hours in the White house where the president will address the nation and their latest concerns on regards this recent alien invasion. For WHiH World News this was Jackson Norris, back to you Will”

“Thank you Jackson. We will update you as soon as this press conference happens. For now let go with Mikael, for the latest report on the weather…”

“Well just another day on Earth right?” says Adam

“Yeah, let’s just hope it’s nothing serious” says the young lady who’s now returned to her laptop

“Your coffee’s doctor” says Adam and extends two hot cups at me. I take them and pay for them “Have a good day doctor, goodbye Brixton” he says with a smile.

I leave the cafeteria with a dream like feeling on me, my body feels like it’s floating. Once again, the echo of a voice makes me halt.

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“The entire time I knew Thanos, he only had one goal. To bring balance to the universe by wiping out half of all life. He used to kill people planet by planet, massacre by massacre. If he gets all six Infinity Stones, he can do it with the snap of his fingers like this”

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The sharp sound of a horn and barking wake me. I’m in the middle of the street. I turn and see a car that’s a few inches of hitting me, the driver keeps honking at me to get out of the way, Brixton pulls me so I walk. I cross the street and a woman stares at me as if I’m crazy.

Why did I cross the street like that? I don’t remember walking there. My heart pounds against my chest, my ears ring, my vision has black spots and I have to stop to breathe to stop myself from fainting from the adrenaline overload.

The lab is now in front of me. Once I regulate my myself and the adrenaline I go in.

As soon as I get in, the sound of music invades the space, the vocals of a woman are loud “Elodie?” I ask

“Yeah! I’m making breakfast, or at least I was trying” she says with her back turned to me. I see her in the kitchen.

“I brought coffee” I say

“Good! I burned the one we had in here, sorry. I’ll buy more.” she says “Looks like we're going to have to go with bagels, at least I didn’t burned them all” she says turning with a plate of 4 bagels, some of them with black spots “Well… they’re eatable. Oh… by the way, Layla was here earlier. She was hoping to see you before going to work. She asked me to tell you to please call her”

“I’ll call her after breakfast. I didn’t wake up with the best of moods and I haven’t had my coffee yet” I say as I sit in the breakfast counter where Elodie has displayed dishes and utensils.

“You heard about that whole thing about the alien invasion in New York City” she asks as she sips through her coffee.

I nod “Yeah, that might be part of the reason I’m in a bad mood” she hums

“I called my grandma to make sure she was alright you now? She lives in Hell’s Kitchen, you used to live there too right?” I nod

“Yeah, long time ago. We should get started, I’ll be leaving early today, I have a date with Layla, and… it is Friday, you should leave too, if you want to” she nods and wipes her mouth “Yeah, probably will, I have some sleep to catch on, besides my girlfriend is on leave anyway I want to spend some time with her too” I stand “Great, meet me in my office in half an hour for a meeting please, we’re so close to finish going through all the research” she walks to her space and powers up the systems.

I enter my office and first thing I do is call Layla

“Hey honey” she says with that sweet undertone of hers when picking up a call “I was in your office earlier but you weren’t there, everything okay?”

“Yeah, I went out for an early coffee run for me and Elodie”

“Oh! that’s okey. I just wanted to know if you had slept at all. Elodie told me you guys had a really long night”

“We did, but we actually made a lot of progress”

“Good, that’s good news. You sound tired, maybe we should cancel our date, order in and stay home tonight?”

“No, no, don’t cancel it. I’m fine, besides I know how exited you’re for that date. You even bought a dress, and I can’t wait to see you on it, I’ve been waiting since last week.”

“You sure?” she asks concerned

“100%” I assure her

“Alright. Well, I dropped off some fresh and clean clothes for you to change into, and I also left you your personal cleaning bag” I sigh

“Your an angel sweetheart, thank you.”

“Alright, I gotta go, meeting is about to start, they’re waiting for me” she says in a low voice

“Kick ass sweetheart. You worked very hard on that presentation” I say

“Always do. Love you” she says and she hangs up the phone.

After the call with Layla I call Mrs. Durmaz, she picks up immediately.

“My darling girl, hello, how are you?” with Turkish accent in her voice

“Hello Mrs. Durmaz. Well you know just checking in, how are you?”

“I just came home from our early run” she says

“How is Arturo?”

“Still here dear, he at his studio, working.”

“That reminds me, how was the moving? Did the guys I recommend any good?” I ask as I wait for my computer to boot up

“They were perfect dear, they stored and accommodated everything how I wanted”

“Good, they sure weren’t cheap”

“By the way, how much do I owe you?”

“Nothing, and that’s it on that matter”

“Okey, I won’t insist but I warn you I will return the favor. How are the plans for Christmas coming along?”

“Well. I already booked the hotel you wanted, since you refused to stay at my home, in which I could’ve accommodate you easily”

“Believe me darling, you don’t want us in there. You won’t be able to sleep”

“Yep, that’s enough information Mrs. Durmaz”

“How’s that girlfriend of yours? You putting a ring on that finger any time soon?”

“She’s fine, she’s about to fulfill a long time dream. And about the ring… I don’t know. I think it’s to early yet, we just moved in”

“Dear I’m going to be honest with you, I always have. Last time I asked you how you truly felt about Layla, you said everything you loved about her and how good she made you feel. Basically you told me you liked who you were around her, but I did notice you never actually told me you loved her. Have you thought… that…maybe she’s not the one dear and that’s why you feel like it’s rushed. I mean you guys have been dating for a while now. Dear I’m not saying this because traditionally marriage is what follow, I say it because Layla has said to me and you, she wants to take your relationship the next stage and to her… that’s marriage. Have you ever thought you’re with her just because it’s comfortable? Have you even say I love you back to her?” she asks.

It’s too damn early for this kind of conversation.

I’m grateful that she’s came into my life, and that after this long she hasn’t left. She’s everything I could’ve dreamed of, understanding, loving, caring, thoughtful and so much more. I was doomed and in a hole I thought I’d never get out of. Being with Layla feels so easy and… logical. She saved me. She held my hand when I needed it the most.

But love… What if Mrs. Durmaz is right, maybe she might not be the one for me, and the last thing I want to do is hurt her. I’d always noticed that she does experience this relationship far more intensely than I do. She says it constantly. She knows what she wants, I don’t. Is it fair to pretend to be right there with her but not really?

She deserves someone much better, in a better state of mind, healthy. She deserves what she’s giving. She’s given everything of her to me and I haven’t reciprocated and sometimes I think she pretends she’s okey with it, but I don’t think it’s fair. She needs someone who loves her just as intensely.

“Dear you must realize that this silence says everything I need to know. You must talk to her soon, don’t keep her next to you if you have no intentions of taking her seriously, at least the way she must be expecting you to. Believe me, by own experience, that hurts too much” I know “Just think about it dear. It’s okey to not be in the same place that she is, but it’s not okey for you not to tell her that. The final decision has to hers, not your. Don’t keep her there if you’re just going to break her heart tomorrow, or next month, or next year”

“I know… I’ve actually been thinking the same this last couple weeks. Now that we’ve moved in together, she’s starting to bring up subjects about our future and every time she brings them up it’s like my body goes completely tense”

“It’s a sign dear. Your own brain is telling you that your not ready to go into something so serious. Even though your heart wants to and even if you want to trick yourself into believing that she’s the one” she sighs and I can hear her shifting on the other side of the line “I married my husband not because I loved him, I married him because it was the only way I saw to get out of my country safely, start a new life and forget about my past. Mr. Durmaz was 13 years older than me, he was cold and distant because of the war, death and destruction he saw, but he was never cruel or violent. I cared for him and I was grateful because even after everything he always took care of me and our family, he was a good man and father. But I didn’t love him the way he would’ve wanted me to and that hurt and hunted him the rest of his life. He became bitter with time and then died. What I’m trying to say is don’t do force yourself to feel something that you don’t feel, safe her and yourself a worst pain”

“I’m scared”

“Why are you scared?” she asks

“Because after everything that went down on New York and D.C I thought I was dead, that I would never feel like that again. She gave me that. She gave me hope, she made me realize that I could still feel like that. What if I won’t find anyone again?”

“Oh dear. You say that because you’re young, you feel like a breakup might be the end of the world, but it isn’t. The world is more complex than that, you will get through this. But you can’t keep this up anymore. I’m not saying do it right now, just think about it and see if this could be true”

“I will Mrs. Durmaz” I can hear someone saying her name in the background “That sounds like Arturo, I’ll let you go Mrs. Durmaz”

“Promise me you’ll think about what we talked about”

“Promise”

“Please take care dear. Don’t forget to eat, drink water and sleep. I love you”

“Take care too Mrs. Durmaz, I’ll talk to you soon”

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The light of the sun hits my closed eyes. I can hear birds singing and water running. The breeze weaves it’s way through the grass and flowers, conducting a symphony of whispers. I open my eyes, the sight is breathtaking. Above, the sky transitions through the tranquil depths of cobalt blue to the regal richness of purple, and finally, to the fiery embrace of orange. Each color seems to dance with the others, painting the heavens in a symphony of celestial beauty. It’s as if the sky itself is a grand theater, putting on a spectacular performance for all who care to look up and marvel at its splendor. The sun is setting in the background, waving it’s last goodbye. Next to the sun is a moon on a waning crescent, this one much bigger than ours. Closer too.

I’m barefoot, the tall grass under my feet is wet, it’s not unpleasant. A fresh breeze is present. The gentle caresses of each blade and petal inviting one to linger and lose oneself in the enchanting embrace of the meadow’s embrace. Tall green mountains stand in front of me, waterfalls run through them.

On the land stands a small wooden house.

The place feels like a place where you come to have a vacation from everything happening in the world. Peace and silence is everywhere, it’s the kind of a place where you retire to once your old enough. But it also feels lonely and deserted. There’s something dark about this place. The energy that surrounds it is good but the closer I get to the small house, a darker energy seems to rise, something pulls me away from it. It feels like I’m fighting against the wind.

I stop, someone is in the house. They’re tall, broad back and purple skin, half it’s body is burned. They turn, half their face is also burned. They look at me, I look at them, shivers run through my body. The darkness grows by the second. They wear a gauntlet with glowing stones, each different color and size, they’re broken. They have a particular energy running through them but the stones seem to potentiates the darkness in them. They suffer.

I see pain, I see loss, I see loneliness.

I try to walk towards them but they rise the golden gauntlet and snap their fingers.

An expansive wave hits my body and I fly through the air.

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Modern Big Bang theories predict that our local universe came into existence with an instant of inflation, in other words, a small fraction of a second after the Big Bang in which the universe expanded at a colossal exponential rate.

The observable part of our universe would then be just a kind of ‘cozy’ pocket universe, a region in which inflation has ended and stars, galaxies and planets, like our own, could form. The usual theory of eternal inflation predicts that, on a global scale, our universe is like an infinite fractal, with a mosaic of different pocket universes, separated by an inflationary ocean.

Elodie knocks on my glass door and I glance at her acknowledging her presence

“I’m leaving Dr. Kingsley, my girlfriend just got here. Isn’t your date suppose to be in like twenty minutes?” she says looking at her watch.

Oh… right.

I stand from my chair and turn the computer off “I left all the systems on so that if there’s any changes we can get notified, if it’s important of course” I continue to get ready to leave “Thank you Elodie, say hi to Jess for me please” she nods “I’ll see you Monday boss, have a great weekend” I smile at her, she leaves the lab and I see through the glass she gets into a car and head off.

I make sure all the systems are on and close the lab. I head off on to the address Layla has sent. I sent her a text

“On my way to you”

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Notes: I was gone for a bit but I think I'm back. This chapter is a long one, with the progression of the story the chapters will progresively get longer and more packed with info. We're getting there, just you wait.

Thank you for reading and please, if you can, interact with the story. Coment your thoughts, theories, etc. I'd love to talk to you. Share if you like it and you feel someone would be interested in reading it. The interaction really helps me so much.

With love, geekyglimpses-nest out 👋🏽

[asm5129]

RWBY V9 E6 thoughts and analysis

Jaune, my poor boy

here he is having had to just kill a friend

Then he has the WORST luck and stumbles onto this weird-ass tree

(Love the clock tree’s design btw)

And then he picks the “time lime” (as a friend called it) and it sends him back decades, we don’t even know how much

And since he fell last, no one knows he fell at all

Meaning he has to wait even longer

In better news, love that Jaune sees Crescent Rose and immediately goes to save it when he’s falling

He knows how important it is to Ruby

(Or was. We’ll get there.)

We now have explicit time shenaniganery in the Ever After, and I doubt it’s our last

Poor Jaune though my god

What must he have gone through

GROUP HUG AWWWW

Weiss “if I knew he’d be this hot I’d have stuck it out” Schnee

“What good is saving anybody if Salem just destroys the world anyway”

I love how RWBY does this. This is a line that, on the surface, makes perfect sense. But it’s not the logic that’s flawed—it’s the mindset behind it.

Every moment of life is valuable. Every single one. (Link at the end to an amazing video essay on this using the lens of Life Is Strange).

Think about it. Otherwise, the fact that we’re not immortal would make our lives instantly meaningless, and that’s just not true.

On top of that, you could save the world, but if everyone (or nearly everyone) in the world is dead, that’s not really rational either

Like Yang says, the idea that saving individual lives doesn’t actually matter in the grand scheme of things is the path that led Ironwood to become a villain.

VILLAGE? Jaune has a village?! Who might we meet there? I’m intrigued

Jaune….why are you giving me Ironwood vibes? 😳

CC genuinely seems to be glad to see Jaune

The tree is what causes ascension!? What a twist

CC, you say that can’t happen to them, but you were also awfully worried that team RWBY wouldn’t be who themselves anymore after visiting Herb

Clearly you thought SOMETHING could happen

But…you were also worried something could happen….and actively tried to prevent it….So what’s going on here?

Ah, so THATS who the boy in the back of Alyx’s photo in the intro is

“You never asked, silly”

Thing is, I think CC is being sincere. I don’t think they were hiding it, they genuinely just don’t answer questions that aren’t asked. It’s just not part of the social contract from their perspective

A Punderstorm?

Also just realized

Jaune must have been actively fighting against the Ever Afters attempts to resolve his issues the entire time

Probably because of his trust issues which have only gotten worse over time it seems

Also first impressions of the Ever After being what they were for him probably didn’t help

But wow yeah

He must have been actively resisting healing from his pain for a ridiculously long time

Poor Jaune

Ah poor Weiss, she and the Ever After do NOT get along

“Something bigger to work out” eh?

“How do we take the next step” BEES

What do the symbols on these signs mean? Boy and paw?

SUMMER IN RUBYS REFLECTION

Oh my, it’s literally visualized in front of them but Ruby does not even notice her own trauma (Summer) yet ruminates on the trauma of others and her inability to fix things for them (Weiss and Atlas)

I do not trust Jaune’s story here, at least not completely. I don’t think he’s lying, but it’s very much filtered through a biased lens of trauma and trust issues

“She wasn’t just a little petulant. She was selfish, and cruel.” She also looks about thirteen

“Like the whole world was make-believe and the rules didn’t apply to her” MAYBE SHE THOUGHT IT WAS MAKE BELIEVE 🤯

We don’t know how she got to the Ever After, but it’s quite possible she genuinely didn’t think of it as “real”, which meant she didn’t have to feel bad about any of her actions

Just like how Alice in Disney’s adaptation (the animated one) didn’t really have to contend with her collateral damage since it was all a dream

What changed at the Herbalist, Alyx? What did Herb say to you?

“The more I tried to get the story back on track the more she distrusted me”

Honestly? That one I think is a little valid. You were trying to force a child’s life to fit a narrative you believed it was supposed to fit. If, say, she found out something along those lines, yeah of course she wouldn’t trust you Jaune.

Honestly, the more interesting thing for me is that she apparently lost all trust in Lewis as well.

“I couldn’t even be the make-believe hero”

Poor Jaune. For all the growth he had, there was still that part of him that saw himself as ultimately just “the lovable idiot stuck in the tree while his friends risk their lives” and he hates himself for that

For not being the hero he thought he should be.

Wait…Holy shit

In the Ever After, he was kinda stuck in a tree

Though not in it’s branches this time, he was stuck in its grasp nonetheless

“The Rusted Knight drank the poison in her stead” this is such a strange line

That’s gotta be intentional. Why does he refer to himself in third person as “the rusted knight”? What does he mean “in her stead”?!

It does obviously seem that the poison wasn’t lethal. So that’s another intriguing thing about Alyx. Jaune states that she said she “wasn’t going to let anyone stop her from leaving. She’d do whatever it takes”

And yet, she seemingly made sure not to kill him

“The cats role in the ever after…I figured it out later, when the cat came back for me once Alyx left” Okay so, I’ll admit there’s at least a chance it was lethal and the Cat saved Jaune somehow

But I think it’s more likely it wasn’t lethal, because the flashback had Jaune basically just falling unconscious to the best of what we can see. Of course, that doesn’t mean the Cat didn’t help him recover a bit….who can say, all I’m saying is it’s interesting the cat came back for Jaune.

Then again, maybe CC just genuinely didn’t understand there might be conflict between them now

Yeah so, lots of people have pointed this out, but this is where it becomes clear how biased Jaune is. The Cat took Alyx and Lewis to the tree, one of them got home—the assumption is it was Alyx since she supposedly wrote the book (many have pointed out it’s quite possible Lewis is the one who made it back, which is why Alyx is presented much more sympathetically in the story) and this is where all of Jaune’s issues finished the story for him.

He began to believe that the Cat was never helping anyone, that they were only ever manipulating them in order to feed the tree and keep the cycle going, and this is a clear indication of how his trust issues are affecting his ability to see things clearly

BZZZZZZZZZZZ ITS BEEEEEEEEES TIIIIIME BABYYYYYY

“I’ll feel a lot better when we’re together on that platform”

Just LOVE that Blake has been taking the lead this whole volume

She is ready to love and be loved

She knows who she is, she knows what she wants

And she’s done letting the memory of Adam or the threat of Salem or anything else stand in her way

“You’ve got a really good brain”

“You have cat ears!”

Yang flirting with Blake in volume 1 when they first met CONFIRMED

Also confirmed is that Yang’s inability to flirt with Blake is tied directly to her struggle with vulnerability

She’s scared to say what she means when it matters

THE MUSIC

YANG’S ADORABLE LITTLE “Shall we dance” ANIMATION

THE TEARS IN HER EYES

“I think you’re an extraordinary person. You’re always the first to lighten a situation. You act bravely when you’re afraid. You do what you say.

Try to keep up!”

“I like that you’ve never been intimidated by me….even when you didn’t like me very much.”

“I was a little weary of people in general…”

“But you never gave up on them, even when they hurt you. You never give up. You know what matters to you.”

This whole exchange is so beautiful

And I love that despite Yang’s comedy often acting as a defense mechanism and Blake’s unwillingness to give up on people causing her to stay with Adam, both are presented as something worth loving because that’s not all they are

Yang makes Blake smile. Sometimes it’s a defense mechanism, sometimes it’s not, but Blake loves that Yang makes her smile

And Blake’s refusal to give up on people was taken advantage of by Adam, but it in and of itself is hardly a bad instinct—and Yang saw that firsthand when Blake dedicated herself to making sure her team (and Yang especially) knew she was never going to run away from them again

And of course, that’s only the tiniest piece of why they love each other.

“You do what you say”

After all Adam’s manipulation, gaslighting and abuse, to have someone who says what she means and actually acts like it must be incredible

“You know what you want”

Yang’s always been a bit adrift, defining herself by her relationship to others. In v1 she mainly saw herself as Ruby’s older sister and parental figure; and she also defined herself by being abandoned by Raven and wanting to find her. It’s not that she never had wants of her own, but she her wants often depended on how she viewed herself in relation to others.

Blake took no shit, she was passionate, she took a stand when it was something she believed in—and maybe even inspired Yang to do the same in volume 8?

“Let’s make this quicker. Any big truths we haven’t dropped on each other yet?”

As soon as Yang says that, she knows the truth she has to say and the storm reacts and

THE COLORS

THE PURPLE AND YELLOW

ITS SO PRETTY

Everything in this scene is SO PRETTY

“It’s like…a cliff. And if I do it I’m just going to….fall.”

“I think we’re already falling…”

RWBY has played around a LOT with the idea of “falling”

Cinder Fall/the fall maiden and falling into the abyss after her fight with Raven

The fall of beacon

The intro to volume 3

Ironwood’s fall into villainy

Falling into the ever after

So much more

Hell, initiation literally launched them into the air and they had to learn how to develop a landing strategy as they fell!!! Fuck this show is so well-written

But here, Blake takes the idea of “falling”—presented as something dangerous by Yang—and reframes it into something explicitly positive for the first time

The big deep breath Yang takes…Blake is literally telling her she already knows, but poor Yang is still afraid she might not be loved back

But Blake doesn’t even let her finish before making sure she knows it’s real

I learned that apparently Lillies are the official lesbian flower so that’s just a wonderful detail

I love that this kiss isn’t rough and passionate like they’ve been waiting to get their hands on each other

It’s gentle and calm

Tender, and compassionate

And while it’s not verbalized, you can actually see them checking for the others consent!!!!

So CC definitely has been explicitly hiding SOME stuff

Like that they didn’t know Alyx wrote a book about her adventure

When CC implies Jaune isn’t particularly stable, his reflection becomes his younger self. Intriguing.

CC wanted to go to remnant? But Alyx didn’t take them. Intriguing. Also “through the door to remnant”?

And yeah, ultimately, team RWBY did not care about CC. They were using them. Despite everything they did for our heroes, they only saw CC as a guide and an annoyance to endure so they could get home

Blake’s leg is doing the thing and it’s adorable

“Feels like I’ve been waiting forever for that” WE ALL HAVE JAUNE THOUGH NOT AS LONG AS YOU BUT SEMANTICS IT WAS SO WORTH IT

Crescent Rose. Jaune found it.

And Ruby is straight-up disassociating poor girl

When she crafted Crescent Rose, she crafted Ruby Rose as well. And she doesn’t want to be Ruby Rose, so she rejects Ruby Rose’s weapon.

And tomorrow, my guess is we’ll get a return to the Blacksmith, and maybe some Summer/Salem info too.

That video essay I mentioned on why every moment of life matters (the thumbnail is a bit clickbaity, promise the video is exceptional)

And a fantastic breakdown of the Bumbleby Confession scene:

[gallavich-headcanon]

🦊 Nope, nothing forgotten! Just tired of not getting notified when you answer.

Very pleased to hear you're doing better! I wish you a continuing speedy recovery.

As for Nosho - I see you haven't heard of his OCs. They are. Trauma in persona. None of those poor souls stays happy for too long. He's an expert in cracking characters like raw eggs. Or porcelain dolls.

Short rundown of The Obsessions! Detroit: Become Human. Video Game. Sci-Fi, Dystopian. Androids have been invented a couple of years prior to the story. They are now found in every profession possible - Doctors, Maids, Police, even Sex Workers, everything. People lose their jobs because of it. People get mad, treat Androids like shit. Androids retaliate. There's a revolution. Your decisions during the game have an impact on the story. There's a lot of possible storylines. I ship two characters who have barely 10Min screen time (Max!) together, one of them having literally 60Sec of it and no line of speech. The fandom built those characters basically from scratch. It's hilarious.

Horizon: Zero Dawn. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU NEVER HEARD OF THIS FRANCHISE. I AM APPALED. LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE GAMES. Again, Video Game. Sci-Fi, Dystopian. Old world ceased to exist, got destroyed. New world was formed. Aloy has been outcast. She doesn't know why. On her quest to find out about her origin, she has to save the world and right a lot of wrongs. I'm sorry, but I can't say more on this without spoilers, and I highly recommed them. (2/3 parts are out so far, third one is in the making!)

Supernatural. You are so wise in not watching it. You'd be SO disappointed. The Queerbait is outrageous. Whatever happened past S10 is a mystery. Absolutely whack. Shit ending. Don't do this to yourself. I got into it when it was still good. And that was the only reason I kept watching. Had I known about that ending beforehand, I wouldn't have touched it.

Duskwood. I will add this even though I didn't mention it previously. Video Game. Horror/Thriller, Interactive Mystery. You are added to a Group Chat. A girl was kidnapped. She supposedly sent your number to her boyfriend who contacted you. They suspect you are the culprit at first. A hacker contacts you, wanting to help you to solve the mystery. If you play as a female character you can woo the hacker. It's hilarious. The Mini Games you have to play in between can be frustrating, but it's worth it.

K.

Hey twin k! How are you doing? Sorry it took me so long to get back to you 🧡 I’m finally back to the land of the living.

@creepkinginc you scare me now. This is a side of you ice never knew. Please never do it to our AUs 😨

Detroit: become human. Okay I see you with shipping characters that have barely been together on screen. I respect your choices but, respectfully, how do you do it? How is there enough to obsess over? Or is it all just headcanons? Wait one of them does even speak? Y’all are something else hahaha

Horizon: zero dawn. The word “dawn” will forever remind me of twilight. I am so sorry I just have never been a video game kind of person!! I don’t even own a tv of a computer! (I have a laptop which I love dearly but I doubt it strong enough for proper games, it’s doesn’t even have a disc compartment lol) this actually sounds very interesting. But like, can I read it or do I have to play to get the plot? Because I’m intrigued but I’m not gonna get into gaming probably. 😅 is there a proper fandom? A love interest?

Supernatural. Yep yep. I had a feeling it was too much queerbaiting that will never give us more than maybe one live confession and no actual relationship. I feel like supernatural-> shameless pipe line is for people who needed to recover from the queerbaiting trauma and get a gay happy ending.

Duskwood. Ohhh cool this is kind of giving pretty little liars vibe. Do you know how I know I live in a queer bubble? My first thought was “oh a lesbian hacker! So cool!” And then I realize… it’s probably a straight man. Hahaha I’m very into the interactive mystery part ( I love reading books from the pov of a detective or someone trying to solve a murder) but the horror part… is it gore? Or like scare to make me pee my pants? Because that’s not for me🙃 but the plot sounds really cool! What are the mini games?

Very impressed with your list of obsessions. Though I have a feeling you’re not satisfied with happy endings lol couldn’t be me. I need my HEA.

[ruki--mukami]

From the moment Yui entered your room late at night, you knew something seemed off about her. It wasn't like her to become this brazen overnight. Intrigued, you were going to give a remark but was suddenly interrupted when Yui jumped into your arms and shoved her face into your chest. Taken back by what has just happened, you feel wet spots on your chest.

"I miss him," cried Yui as she spelt out those three words almost in a whisper. "My father."

“Don’t cry, Yui. I understand the loss of a parent can destroy you instantly, starting from the inside until finally you can no longer contain yourself. The relationship you once shared with your father had both its morose and joyous moments, I’m certain, but remember how the two of us met. It was all thanks to your father’s absence in the first place,” slowly he welcomed her into his arms. “In other words, what I’m trying to say is that sometimes we must separate from our family to grow as people. Humans live on finite time, that is simply a realization with which we must learn to agree and cope. If he truly cared for you as often as you claim he did, then he would hate to see you shed tears over his passing.”

Stifled sobs, lachrymal stains upon the silk of his shirt, champagne curls messily entangled with the Vampire’s fingers, Ruki reciprocated her embrace with cathartic circles caressed into the small of her back, exhaling deeply as accursed memories resurfaced. Dire circumstances poisoned his mind, from his father pushed off the precipice of depression and his mother who long fled. For Yui’s sake, he threw that tragedy to the wind. Bodies melded together like a rose apricating in the sun’s warm wake, usually he would have considered a human weeping in his arms nothing more than a thorn in his side, stinging with trauma immemorial. However, he likened Yui to someone beyond a mere human, someone beyond a beloved one. A sweet seraph, illuminating the dark with her hope, it pained Ruki to genuinely see her overwhelmed with bereavement. Planting a cold palm against her florid pallor, the Vampire gazed intently into her refulgent rubellites teemed with the pearls of sorrow.

“You are my one and only Eve. Or at least, you were. Now you’re the Yui I’ve come to cherish. The Yui I’m eternally grateful who hasn’t experienced a life of solitude; lost and abandoned. Your father may no longer tread this earth but if it’s any consolation, you’ve found a new family. My brothers and I will always be here for you—especially me. You won’t ever have to be alone again, for I shall continue to love every single part of you.”

Narrowed tempests, countenance encroaching, and lashes fluttered shut like the wings of a bat, Ruki captured her lips with his. A kiss to silence her lugubrious bellows; a kiss to erase the agony; a kiss to swallow her worries whole. With each press, each dilatory cage of his arm snaked around her waist, he didn’t want to lose his mortal lover the way she lost her own parent, as shown by his possessive albeit protective kiss in hopes of comforting her. If he could shoulder the burden, and thus ease her pain, then Ruki would hold her always without complaint. Joining in an intimate union, just like this kiss, if it meant seeing her effulgent smile again.

“I love you, Yui. Come what may, even if the end of time approaches us, we’ll always be together. Whether we are alive, whether we are dead, I intend to meet you in every realm of existence possible… because we are inseparable. Sleep here with me tonight if it will make you feel safe. Just know that you can always rely on me, is that understood? Not just as your master, but as your family. And I don’t mean in the kindred sense of it… I intend to start our own family together with you someday. As husband and wife. So until that day comes, don’t cry, Yui.”

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Until the Stars Are All Alight--Epilogue

Hello, and welcome to my entry for the Captain Swan Supernatural Summer 2019!  This au combines two story ideas I’ve wanted to explore for a while. 1. What if CS existed in a Tolkien-esque, LOTR world? 2. What would have happened if it was Killian rather than Neal that Emma ran into when she was stealing the bug?  Huge thank you to my beta, @blackwidownat2814​​​​​​​​, to @clockadile​​​​​​​​ for the amazing story and chapter art, to @kmomof4​​​​​​​ and @cssns​​​​​for putting this event together, and to the ladies in the CSSNS chat who have helped me think through this story.  If all goes well, I should be posting every Tuesday, and the story will have approximately 18 chapters plus the prologue and epilogue.

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Summary: CS Lord of the Rings au: When Emma Swan steals a yellow Volkswagen Beetle, she has no idea it will lead her toward an adventure filled with danger and intrigue, sacrifice and a love stronger than anything she could imagine.  Tasked with bringing the Savior home, the elf, Killian Jones of Misthaven travels to the Land Without Magic.  Can he convince Emma to fulfill her destiny before the Dark One regains power and takes over all of the Enchanted Forest?

Rating:  T

Word Count: 2094

Other Chapters: (prologue) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (22)

Tagging a few people who may be interested (Let me know if you want to be added or taken off the list): @sailormew4​​​​ @annaamell​​​​ @flslp87​​​​ @emmateo26​​​​@bethacaciakay​​ @ultraluckycatnd​​​​ @effulgent-mind​​​​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​​​​ @kat2609​​​​ @brooke-to-broch​​​​ @missgymgirl​​​​ @galadriel26​​​​ @the-lady-of-misthaven​​​​ @charmingturkeysandwich​​​​ @jennjenn615​​​​ @laschatzi​​​​ @kimmy46​​​​ @snowbellewells​​​​ @iamanneenigma​​​​ @daxx04​​​​ @nickillian​​​​ @a-rose-for-a-savior​ @in-spirational​​​​ @gillie​​​​  @britishguyslover​​​​ @ginnyjinxedandhanshotritafirst​​​​ @kmomof4​​​​  @linda8084​​​​ @golfgirld​​​​ @captain-swan-coffee​​​​ @searchingwardrobes​​​​ @hollyethecurious​​​​ @laughswaytoomuch​​​​ @deathbycaptainswan @allyourdarlingswans​​​​ @killiarious @winterbaby89​​​​ @facesiousbutton82​​​​ @cssns​​​​ @therooksshiningknight​​​​, @lfh1226-linda​​​​ @tiganasummertree​​​​​  @jrob64​​

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Misthaven, one month later

It was a month ago today that Emma had defeated the darkness and sacrificed herself.  One month since Killian had brought her back with True Love’s Kiss.  It was funny how time worked.  In some ways, it felt like it all happened just yesterday, but in others, it felt like they’d been living in the idyllic peace of Misthaven for all their lives.

It would be a massive understatement to say Misthaven was different from the life Emma used to know in the Land Without Magic–even she’d begun using the local terminology for her previous home–and yet Emma had never felt more at peace or more fulfilled than she did while she was here with her husband, her son, her family and her heritage.

That wasn’t to say it had been a month free of any pain or hardships.  There was bound to be a great deal of trauma that needed to be worked through for all of them after everything they’d been through.  There was an elf in Misthaven named Archie who fulfilled the role that in the Land Without Magic might have been called a shrink.  Emma, Killian and Henry had all been to see him multiple times–sometimes alone, and sometimes together as a family.

After a few days of settling in and adjusting to their new life, Emma and Killian had discussed what they would do moving forward.  Did they want to remain in Misthaven or return to the Land Without Magic?  They settled on a combination of the two.  They would like to make their primary residence in Misthaven but make the occasional trip back to their previous home.

Of course all of that was merely theoretical at this point.  With Excalibur destroyed, there was no known way to travel between realms, although there had been rumors of a distant land where portal-opening magic beans were being grown and harvested, so it was possible one day realm travel would again be possible.

Emma thought about her old life.  What would Cleo and their friends think?  One day the entire Jones family had simply vanished from the face of the earth without a trace.  Emma knew Cleo would have all her best private investigators looking into the disappearance, but of course she had no hope of discovering the truth.

Thinking back over her (admittedly few) unsolved cases, Emma wondered if it was possible something similar had happened.  Was it possible the skips she found NO trace of had crossed realms and literally disappeared from the face of the earth?

Beside her, Killian stirred, and Emma smiled, loving the way he burrowed his nose into her neck and held her that little bit tighter early in the morning as he started to wake up.

“Morning already, Love?” he murmured sleepily.

“This place doesn’t exactly have a lot of clocks,” Emma answered, turning over to face him and give him a quick, smacking kiss, “but judging by how dark it still is outside, I’d say no.”

“Everything alright?” he asked with concern.  “The little one isn’t giving you trouble is she?”

Emma smiled, stroking his beloved face.  Emma had only begun to suspect she was pregnant again the day before yesterday.  At this point, it was merely a suspicion, especially given the fact that there were no pregnancy tests in this land, but from the moment she’d told Killian, he’d been ecstatic, thoroughly convinced that not only was there another little Jones on the way, but that this time they’d be having a little daughter.

She hoped her suspicions were correct; she really did.  Not just because of Killian’s excitement at the prospect of fatherhood for a second time, but because she realized she really and truly wanted this too.  She hadn’t known how much until she’d missed her period and started to feel the typical nausea and fatigue of early pregnancy.

“She–or he–is fine,” Emma assured him.  “And I’m fine too.  I just…woke up.”

“Another nightmare?” he asked sympathetically.

“Yeah,” she admitted, resting her head on his chest.  “Same one as always.  I fail to stop the Dark One and he makes me watch him kill you and Henry before he kills me.”

“Want to talk about it?” Killian asked.

She shook her head. “It wasn’t real, and that dream no longer has any hold over me.  No, after I was awake, I started thinking about all we have yet to do in the next day or two, and wondering how early my mom would be knocking on our door in the morning.”

As soon as the dust had settled from the dramatic events of last month, Snow had decided Emma and Killian needed a proper Misthaven wedding.  She had, as she put it, missed out on nearly every milestone in her daughter’s life, and she would not miss out on this one–regardless of the fact that Emma and Killian were already married and any future ceremony would be more akin to a renewal of the vows.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Emma,” Snow had said, brushing off her objections.  “The vows you and Killian took were til death do you part.  Death parted you, so clearly you need to wed again.”

Emma doubted that was truly how it worked–although she would guess there was no legal or religious, or whatever, precedent for a wife who dies and then comes back from the dead–and she’d never been one for a big fuss, but her mother was so excited, and there was something so utterly heart-warming about having a family who cared so much, that she put up no more than a token protest to all her mother’s planning.

(Although Killian had very definitely put up a protest that one morning Snow had barged in, wedding planning binder in hand, just as they were about to engage in some activities they very definitely did not wish her mother to be present for.  Luckily, Snow had taken the hint and very pointedly knocked before entering their chambers since that day.)

“I’d wager we still have a few hours, love,” Killian laughed, wiggling his eyebrows outrageously.  “I can think of a few ways to get your mind completely off of both nightmares and wedding planning.”

Emma laughed at his antics, but quickly stopped when he surged forward and claimed her lips in a seering, passionate kiss.  Her laughter turned to a moan of pure want as the banked fire between them flared to life again as it always did.

Their kisses turned longer, drugging them, making them feel a kind of ecstatic bliss that was always present when they were together as husband and wife.  Killian reached for the hem of her nightdress, and then–

“Mom?  Dad?” came the small, subdued voice from the doorway.  “I had another bad dream.”

Killian groaned softly, as Emma smiled commiseratingly up at him before he returned to his side of the bed.  Emma loved her son beyond anything else in this realm or any other, but his timing could certainly be better.

Killian sat up and beckoned Henry forward.  The lad ran forward, scampering onto the bed, and burying himself in his father’s arms.  Emma reached over and rubbed soothing circles over her son’s back.

“It was just a dream, kid,” she said genty.  “Remember what Archie said.  It’s over.  The Dark One can’t hurt you anymore.”

“I know,” Henry said with a slightly wobbly voice.  “But this time it wasn’t about me.  I dreamed that after the bad man hurt you until you died, you didn’t come back.  I dreamed I never got to see you again.”

Beside her, Emma saw Killian stiffen and take in a quick, deep breath before holding his son even closer.

“But she did return to us, Lad,” Killian said after a moment in a gentle voice.  “We are all here, and we are all well, and there’s nothing left to fear.”

“Your father’s right,” Emma said. “I came back to you, and I always will.  We’re a family, and that means we will always find each other.”

“Can…can I sleep with you guys?” Henry asked in a small voice.

“Of course you can,” Emma said, settling him in between her and Killian and stroking the hair off his forehead until his breathing evened into sleep.

“Do you think he’ll ever fully recover from all that happened, love?” Killian asked, settling in and wrapping his arm around his little family.

“Of course he will,” Emma reassured.  “We all will.”

Killian yawned.  “Perhaps we’d best get sleep while we can, Swan.  As you said, your mother will be eager to get back to last minute wedding planning before we know it.”

About that, Emma knew her husband was 100% correct.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Two Days later, Misthaven

Heart full to bursting, Killian dipped his bride, kissing her exuberantly to the cheers of their wedding attendees.  Pulling back, he whispered  “You did it, Swan.  You got your happy ending.”

“That’s not what this is,” she said, tilting her head and smiling blissfully up at him.  “It’s something else.”

“What then?” he asked, holding her, gazing besottedly into her eyes.

“A happy beginning,” she answered.  “Tomorrow is uncertain; who knows what it will bring?”

“But one thing is for sure Love,” he said, swaying with her, his forehead pressed to hers.. “With you, I have everything.  A happily ever after is the way these stories go.”

The rest of the forest clearing seemed to fade away for him.  The queen would likely be displeased with them.  She’d worked to script every moment of this wedding extravaganza, and by rights, he should be walking his bride back down the snow-bell strewn aisle.  In this moment, though, nothing existed for him but this woman and the love he shared with her.

“Used to think that’s what I wanted, “ she replied, “but now I finally know.  There’s no storm we can’t outrun.”

“We will always find the sun,” he agreed.

“Leave the past and all its scars.”

“A happy beginning now is ours.”

A throat cleared from somewhere in the congregation.  If Killian didn’t miss his guess, that was the former Evil Queen’s way of (not so subtly) reminding them that there were, in fact, other people in the world.

Killian grinned, finally stepping back, offering Emma his arm, and escorting her down the aisle.

Killian knew that in all his days, he’d never forget the moment he got his first glimpse of his bride walking down the aisle on her father’s arm toward him.  She was radiant, angelic in her long, white dress, with its long belled sleeves, her hair curled and falling down her back in a golden wave, a circlet of snowbells and greenery atop in lieu of a veil.

If it were possible to die of happiness, he knew he’d expire right on the spot.

“Mom looks pretty, doesn’t she?” Henry asked from beside him.  

Killian smilled patting his son–and best man–on the back.  “Absolutely gorgeous, my lad.”

Their ceremony had been short and simple, a concession Queen Snow had begrudgingly made given Emma’s unfamiliarity with the customs of Misthaven and her natural tendency to avoid pomp and circumstance.  Within the span of a mere quarter of an hour, they’d renewed their vows and promised to love and honor each other through all eternity.

“You are happy, aren’t you, Killian?” Emma asked as they slowly made their way down the remainder of the aisle and headed toward the tent beyond where their wedding feast had been carefully laid out.

“Of course, Swan. Never more so.”

It was the truth; he was so happy here with her that he could scarcely contain it, but still there was a small pang deep in his heart.

He thought back to the other morning, when Henry had come to them after his nightmare.  Yes, it was true, they’d defeated the Dark One, restored peace, and ushered in a new age of prosperity for their kingdom.  There was little doubt they’d live many long, happy years together, surrounded by their children and grandchildren.

But in the end–whether it be five minutes from now or five decades from now–Swan would die; it was the fate of all mortals, and Killian would be left alone.  Having already experienced her death once, he didn’t know how he would bear it again.  

“Are you sure?” she asked, turning him toward her as they took their seat at the center of the head table.  “You seem, I don’t know, almost sad.”

Killian shoved aside his musings.  There would be plenty of time to mourn for her when their final separation happened.  For now, for today, they were celebrating.  He offered her a sincere smile, cupping her head and giving her a soft kiss (to the sound of a wolf whistle from Ruby, if he didn’t miss his guess).  “I am quite certain, my love.”

What followed had been a joyful celebration of life, of victory and of love.  The cook of Misthaven Castle had truly outdone himself, providing a repast of unparalleled grandeur, and then the dancing and revelry had begun.

As night fell, Johanna had ushered Henry to bed, and then the wedding attendees had begun dispersing little by little until finally only the king and queen and Emma and Killian themselves had remained.

Killian was on the point of suggesting–with an overabundance of innuendo and meaning–that it was high time he and Swan adjourned to the bridal chamber, when suddenly there was a bright flash of light.  He got to his feet, reaching in vain for the sword he’d neglected to don with his wedding attire.  If someone dared to mar their wedding, they’d live to regret it!

But when their eyes adjusted to the light, they found themselves facing not a foe, but–

“Merlin” Emma breathed, eyes gone wide.  “How…how are you here?”

“Technically speaking, I am not,” Merlin said with his customary secretive smile.  As though to demonstrate, he walked through a nearby tree.  “I am more of what you might call a ghost.”

“So it seems,” King Charming said, “but why are you here? (Not that you’re unwelcome at our celebration.)”

Merlin smiled again, stepping toward Emma and Killian.  “I have been authorized to present one last wedding gift to the happy couple.”

He raised his incorporeal hands and placed them on Emma’s head.  Light poured from them, surrounding and enveloping her.  For a moment she glowed brightly, and then the light faded away.  Merlin stepped back, smiling.

“What was that?” Emma asked.  “I feel…different, somehow, I don’t know, more than I was before.”

“And so you are,” Merlin said before turning toward Killian.  “Lieutenant Killian Jones, Prince Consort of Misthaven, Zeus has heard your longings and has seen fit, given the invaluable service you and your wife have provided to all the realms, to offer you your heart’s desire.  Emma has been restored to her Elven heritage.  As her ancestors before her, she is now imbued with the gift of immortality.  You both will, indeed, be together for all eternity.”

Killian felt the tears gather and spill over as he turned to Emma, seeing her love and incredible joy reflected back at him.  Now, indeed, they both had achieved perfect happiness.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

David sighed contentedly as his wife settled into his arms later that night in their bed.  He was exhausted after the long day they’d had, but it was the happiest kind of exhaustion.

It had been a wonderful day.

“I think it all went well today, don’t you?” Snow asked sleepily as she softly stroked his chest.

He smiled, bending to place a quick kiss on the top of her head.  “It went perfectly,” he agreed.  “You really outdid yourself.”

“You don’t think it was too much, do you?” Snow asked, raising up on one elbow to look down at him with concern.  “You don’t think I scared Emma off with all my fussing over her wedding?”

David chuckled, shaking his head.  “Snow, if our daughter can face down the Dark One himself and even find the courage to die for her kingdom, I hardly think a little maternal fussing is going to scare her off.”

She gave him a look.

“No,” he said, pulling her head back to his chest.  “I think Emma’s unused to mattering to anyone other than Killian and Henry, but I don’t think she was displeased with your wedding preparations.  She seemed so exquisitely happy today.”

“Can you believe it?” Snow asked, the joy back in her voice.  “Our daughter married to her true love and returned to her elven heritage all in one day!  It’s like a dream come true.  Do you remember the night she was born?  Do you remember how heartbroken and hopeless we felt?  I’ll always regret missing so much of Emma’s life, but now all is finally right.  Now we have the rest of our lives together.”

David felt the tears spring to his eyes.  It had been decades of strife, of pain, of forgetfulness.  Decades where it felt like evil was too big and all-pervasive to overcome, but they had done it.  They had fought for their happy ending, and they had won.

He looked up through the skylight in their bedroom to the clear, brilliant night sky up above.  “Indeed,” David answered, yawning as the fatigue fully caught up to him.  “At long last, the stars are all alight.”

 The end The Happy Beginning!

 Notes:

–Well, there you have it.  After 3+ years, this epic tale is finally at an end!  Thank you to all of you who have stuck with it throughout all the long pauses between chapters!  Your support has helped me persevere through the times my muse abandoned me.  I am absolutely terrible about responding to comments, but know that I have appreciated each and every one!

–I would like to give a big thank you, once again to my beta, @blackwidownat2814​ and to my artist, @clockadile​, for  all their work and help on this project.  Isn’t the wedding portrait @clockadile​ painted for Emma and Killian stunning?

–I don’t know what’s next for me in my fanfiction endeavors–other than the occasional update to fluffy Fridays, but I’ve got a few ideas floating around in my head, so stay tuned!

[in-arlathan]

The Rebel's Ascension, Ch. 29

[Read on AO3] ∙ [Start on AO3]

Pairing: Solas x Female Elvhen OC Characters: Young Solas/Fen’Harel, The Evanuris (Mythal, Elgar’nan, Andruil, Dirthamen, Falon’Din, Ghilan’nain, Sylaise, June), The Forgotten Ones (Geldauran, Anaris, Daern’thal), Supporting OCs Rating: Explicit Tags: Angst, Drama, Intrigue, and lots of Elven Lore Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Implied/Referenced Torture, Explicit Sexual Content Word count: ~5,500 (~178,000 total) Status: Work In Progress

→ Full list of tags and warnings on AO3 → NSFW chapters will be marked with *

Chapter warning: Depicitions of injuries and trauma/PTSD.

––––

Chapter 29: The Gift of Freedom

-3,700 Ancient

“You have to let go,” Abelas said.

Felani rolled her eyes. How many times had he said those words to her in the last few days? Ten, twenty? Maybe a hundred. It certainly felt like it. And she was growing tired of his ramblings rather quickly.

“And how exactly am I supposed to do that?” she asked and tossed her hands into the air. “I’m already trying my best. It’s what I’ve always done. What more do you want from me?” 

Abelas gave her a flat stare. Felani wondered if that man ever carried another expression. Sure, he was Sorrow incarnate, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t slap a smile on every once in a while. All spirit-born elvhen developed traits that made them more than they had been before they had bound themselves to their body. It had been the only way for the People to grow and prosper until the Forgotten Ones had unlocked the secret of procreation. 

But Abelas remained adamant. With his white skin, his face might have been cut from marble. The gold of his iris seemed cold despite the flecks of sunlight catching in it.

“Your body is healing,” he agreed in a tone that blurred the lines between caring and condescending. His eyes flicked to the linen dressings that covered most of Felani’s body. “But the high keeper has done more to you than just threaten your physical form. Clearly, your mind has been left scarred as well. Someone with less stamina than you might have been destroyed by the torture Las’halani has submitted you to. That you are here, alive and breathing, is an achievement in its own right but it isn’t enough for you to fully recover.”

“So far, so good,” Felani said dryly. “And? I’m sure you’re not going to end this on a complimentary note.”

“For some reason, you cling to the pain of the past. You wallow in it as if you didn’t know what to do with yourself without it.”

» Keep reading on AO3

[9worldstales]

MCU Loki: Why I fear they failed to deliver what they promised

At this point I’m kind of confused by who the “Loki” series is trying to reach or which is the goal/message they’re trying to pass along.

They had tried to intrigue assorted audience but, if you ask me, the series has often failed to deliver what it seemed to promise.

Of course I might be wrong. Or maybe I'm not seeing another type of audience the series aimed and managed to reach.

When the series started I wanted to keep a positive mentality and hope whatever seemed not to work would be fixed along the way or have a reason for existing that I just wasn't seeing because I hadn't seen the full story yet.

However, after 5 episodes I'm starting to lose hope the series will make a genuine effort to reach the fans at whom it seemed to aim.

PART 1 – “LOKI” IS NOT FOR THE OLD FANS WHO PRODUCED META SHOWING HOW HIS TRAUMA DAMAGED HIM

"I think it's the struggle with identity, who you are, who you want to be. I'm really drawn to characters who are fighting for control. Certainly you see that with Loki over the first 10 years of movies, he's out of control at pivotal parts of his life, he was adopted and everything and that manifest itself through anger and spite towards his family." [Loki's Struggle With His Identity Confirmed To Be A Focus Of His Disney+ Series]

What was it about Loki as a character that attracted you? He’s just fun, for one. He has a very playful sense of humor about him. I like how he never quite lets you know what he’s thinking. Beyond that, what I connect to about him is the same thing the legions of fans do, which is his humanity and his vulnerability. This is a guy who—yes, on the one hand, he was the prince of Asgard, seems like a nice life—but his father, in fact, killed his actual birth father, adopted him, lied to him about his heritage and parentage his entire life, he was forced to live in the shadow of his oafish older brother who was born to be king. He’s experienced a lot of trauma, and I think that what he’s looking for is just a little bit of control over his life. Which he feels like maybe he’s never quite had. That’s something I think we can all relate with. [From Loki to Doctor Strange and Star Wars, Michael Waldron Is the New Franchise Whisperer]

Let’s be honest, the audience for the “Loki” series is not really meant to be Marvel movies old time fans who enjoyed “Thor” and “The Avengers”, made countless Meta analyzing Loki’s behaviour and who wanted answers about what happened to Loki prior to “The Avengers” or wanted to see Loki’s family terrible dynamics be discussed, or at least to see explored the wrong dynamics of Loki’s interracial adoption (he’s taken away from his planet, the truth is hidden from him, his look is changed to disguise him as an Asgardian, nothing is done against the racial hate for the Jotuns at which Loki is exposed, even witnessing it from his brother) or talk how much in control of himself Loki was during “The Avengers” (okay, the web said the sceptre manipulated Loki, but what about acknowledging that in his own series? It doesn’t have to come from Loki who had no idea he was manipulated but someone could mention ‘think yourself lucky here the stones don’t work, they’ve the nasty tendency to manipulate people’).

The series has avoided digging into all that as much as they could.

Even when Loki talks with Sylvie, the most we get is a small big about how Frigga was awesome in his eyes and taught him magic, but this isn’t meant to explain any of the issues Loki had with his family, it just make Sylvie feel bad because she can’t remember her adoptive mother, as for the D.B. Cooper born out of a bet with Thor, yeah, fun but completely random. What’s meant to be the message about family dynamics here, that it was the bets between Thor and Loki that caused Loki to decide to conquer Earth? Or what about the Sif loop? Is it there to push on Loki the blame of his poor relation with Sif?

No, clearly not.

In regard to Loki the Frigga flashback is there to remark he had a loving and supportive family while the other two are there to have Loki admit he is ‘a mischievous scamp’, ‘a horrible person’ and ‘a narcissist’.

To put it in Classic Loki’s words: ‘Damn it! Animals, animals! We lie and we cheat, we cut the throat of every person who trusts us, and for what? Power. Glorious power. Glorious purpose! We cannot change. We're broken, every version of us. Forever. And whenever one of us dares try to fix themselves, they're sent here to die.’

In short it’s all Loki’s fault if he does bad, nothing happened to him that could have messed him up, he’s just a horrible person… however…

PART 2 – “LOKI” IS NOT FOR THE OLD AND NEW FANS WHO BELIEVED LOKI TO BE A DANGEROUS, EVIL, PSYCHOPATH VILLAIN EITHER

"Loki is an a**, and that makes my life as a writer, easy." ... "Due to the trauma in Loki’s life, I would even [accept a story] in which he is committed to being all bad." [Michael Waldron on Loki: He’s an a**. That makes things easy]

Considering the series is trying to pin SOLELY on Loki his wrongdoing, completely skipping the toxic way in which he was raised you might think they want to paint him as an evil, psychopath who was just born bad.

But no, that’s not the intention, we see it from the start.

Loki is given a quick briefing on how his beloved family loved him despite him hurting them, a briefing that contains false information which would work if we accept the briefing as manipulative but, at this point I’m not so sure that was the author’s intent. The Doylist purpose of the briefing is clearly to show the audience how Loki cares for his family, how he still has feelings, feels pain at the idea Frigga and Odin died and wish to make up with his brother.

It’s not just they loved him and did nothing wrong toward him, it’s also he who loved them and didn’t mean to harm them. That’s why we’re fed that damn discourse about Loki sending the Dark Elves to kill Frigga, because the series wants to remark that no, Loki didn’t want to kill his family, he loved them.

Tom Hiddleston used to say what Loki is came from a place of pain but the series didn’t explore that place of pain… it just gave him more pain and not just in episode 1. Episode 2 has him discovering Asgard is destroyed, episode 3 has him remembering Frigga, episode 4 shows him believing Sylvie die and watching Mobius being pruned. He doesn’t cry in Ep 5, episode 5 wants us to truly feel bad for Sylvie, not for him, but there’s a lot of bitterness from Classic Loki who commits a heroic suicide so you might say we get a sad Loki anyway.

And this also works as a shock to make him change his mind about his ‘glorious purposes’. Sorta, with Thor reminding us he’s not so bad and Loki explaining his behaviour as “I don't enjoy hurting people. I... I don't enjoy it. I do it because I have to, because I've had to. Because it's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear.”

Plot-wise, this is completely useless.

The show will prove Sylvie is not Loki and has completely different motivations and Mobius, being an expert in Variants, should know.

What’s more why would Mobius care if Loki enjoys hurting people or not?

His goal is to capture Sylvie with Loki’s help. The most he should care about is how to keep Loki loyal to him, not if Loki has fun hurting people or not which, in fact, is a knowledge that won’t be used in his investigation.

No, this is here for the viewers, to tell them Loki isn’t a sadistic, evil villain, he’s someone weak who tries to scare others so as not to look weak. As Mobius will put in ‘a scared little boy, shivering in the cold’ who has an ‘insecure need for validation’.

What’s more?

The show will try his hardest to establish he’s not even competent.

Let’s talk of him as a fighter.

In the movies Loki is a competent fighter and side material establish he’s pretty strong, definitely much more than a human.

In “The Avengers” we see Captain America needs Iron Man’s help to beat him and, anyway, Loki’s plan was to be captured. Loki manages to walk away on his feet when Coulson hits him with that superspecial weapon and it’ll take him to be Hulk smashed after a fight with Thor and a meeting with an explosive arrow of Hawkeye before he can’t fight any longer.

This doesn’t happen in the “Loki” series.

Loki gets beaten up by various people in 4 episodes, preferably women (B-15, the people possessed by Sylvie, the guards on the train, Sif). You might say in episode 5 he’s not but actually Classic Loki is the one who gets swallowed by Alioth and our Loki instead survives because he has Sylvie supporting him as, on his own he couldn’t even distract Alioth.

Let’s talk of him as a wizard.

He can use magic, impressive magic but… it serves him mostly nothing. In the TVA his magic doesn’t work. Outside of it is mostly useless. It doesn’t help win fights. The Tempad he caused to disappear gets broken. To beat Alioth they needs enchantment, not his own magic. What’s more, when they’ve to go on the train his disguise wouldn’t have worked without Sylvie’s enchantment and, if this wasn’t enough, he got drunk, removed the disguise and wasn’t even able to make tickets appear.

Classic Loki too, with his impressive illusions is ultimately a distraction. Alioth tears easily through his illusions which aren’t even solid.

Let’s talk of him as a planner.

All Loki will accomplish is to escape from the Time theatre for a brief period in episode 1 and figure out Sylvie hides in apocalypses in episode 2. The rest of his plans fails or are not plan or are mocked over and not even put into practice.

Let’s talk about him as a manipulator with a silver tongue.

He can’t even persuade Mobius when he’s telling him the truth, Mobius dismisses it as a lie due to ‘cockroach's survival mechanism’.

And psychologically?

He’s just someone who crave attention because he’s a narcissist scared of being alone. Not a psychopath.

Loki is not meant to be a dangerous, evil, psychopath villain in this series, he’s a not serious man, a clown, a scared little boy in need of attention, a narcissist who needs to be loved.

Welcome to cartoon villain Loki, this Loki isn’t the Variant of “The Avengers” Loki, he’s the Variant of “Avengers Assemble”Loki… only he’s even less competent than him.

PART 3 – “LOKI” IS NOT EVEN HERE FOR GENERAL MARVEL MOVIE FANS

"That's a lot of Infinity Stones. That's true but they are useless there in the TVA, so I don't know. Is that gun loaded or not? We'll see..." [Loki Writer Comments On Whether TVA’s Infinity Stones Will Return In MCU]

“We had to create an insane institutional knowledge of how time travel would work within the TVA so the audience never has to think about it again. It was a lot of drawings of squiggly timelines.” Marvel already made its case for how time travel works in Avengers: Endgame, but that, Waldron points out, “is the way the Avengers understand it.” With a TV show it’s a little different. “I was always very acutely aware of the fact that there’s a week between each of our episodes and these fans are going to do exactly what I would do, which is pick this apart. We wanted to create a time-travel logic that was so airtight it could sustain over six hours. There’s some time-travel sci-fi concepts here that I’m eager for my Rick and Morty colleagues to see.” [How the Man Behind LokiIs Shaping Marvel’s Phase 4 and Beyond]

BC: The TVA is there to clean everybody up? MW: Yeah, Avengers: Endgame… that's how The Avengers understand time travel. 'Loki,' episode one, is how the TVA explains time travel to Loki and we're certainly building on what's come before us. [Loki: Michael Waldron On Gender Fluidity, Mephisto, Time Travel & More]

It’s true “Loki” is focusing on a new corner of the MCU but it interconnects very poorly with the movies before it.

Although Loki escaped with the Tesseract... it just dismisses completely the Infinity Stones.

Despite talking a lot about timelines and creating branching realities it waved away the whole plot of "Avengers: Endgame" as apparently supposed to happen even though it should have created branching realities.

We see Renslayer wave away how the Avengers went in the past causing the Tesseract to end up in Loki’s hands... and all the other things the Avengers did that affected the past goes unmentioned.

Bruce meeting the Ancient, Thor meeting his mother and taking away Thor’s hammer, Rocket being seen as he steals the reality stone from Jane, Tony stealing a suitcase and damaging the place in which the Tesseract was kept then meeting Howard Stark, 4 flacons of Pyn particles missing, an alarm given to the military bases, how Steve managed to bring back the sceptre if that timeline was pruned, how a timeline handled being without Thanos and Co as they went in the future or how they clearly didn’t bring the orb back the second they took it as Nebula remained unconscious there and nobody came and when she woke up Thanos could get her. It didn’t even explain why Steve remaining with Peggy didn’t change anything.

It's not that the audience has all explained... it's that they were told to dismiss it as 'meant to happen' and that was it.

What's more, the TVA apparently didn't list a finger to stop 2014 Thanos from going in the future and causing Tony Stark's death.

As if this wasn't enough, “Loki” just skips any possible connection with the movies, even hands Loki false information about them (he lead the Dark Elves to his mother when Loki had no idea the Kurse was a Dark Elf and they would have found her anyway as they were searching for the Aether which Malekith could sense, he’s born solely to cause pain and suffering and death, overlooks how he saved Jane twice or helped the Asgardian escape Hela) and never discusses them again.

Even with Classic Loki, who’s a Variant of “Avengers: Infinity War” Loki, they don’t talk about what happened after Loki’s supposed dead, apparently hinting it was better if he died, nor explain how Loki knew Thor survived.

PART 4 – “LOKI” IS NOT REALLY OFFERING A GOOD REPRESENTATION FOR FEMALES EVEN THOUGH IT CLEARLY AIMS AT FEMALE AUDIENCE

Let’s make a quick experiment.

Everyone, let’s name all the characters we remember which appeared in more than 1 episode of “Loki” for more than one minute.

We’ve, of course, Loki, Mobius, B-15, Renslayer, Sylvie, C-20 and Miss Minute.

5 females versus 2 males.

What’s more, females are not sexualized, they remains completely dressed, they’re clearly not there to attract male gazes, they’re represented as strong, dangerous, in control, something archived often by showing them beating males either physically or intellectually or in rank.

It seems promising. At first.

Is there someone who’s sexualized?

The “Loki” series takes care to offer us Tom Hiddleston naked.

So since there’s an abundance of females in the cast and Tom Hiddleston is shown naked is it aiming at a female audience?

Very, very likely but… but how’s then handled all this?

When Loki is seen undressed he’s not in a situation of power, like Thor who’s twice shows half naked in his movies but because he’s changing/washing and perfectly comfortable in showing his body and once in a situation which could be a male forbidden fantasy, to have many women massage your naked body, no, he’s shown as he’s powerless while being stripped by a machine. Clearly not a male power fantasy, more like a male nightmare.

And, in a totally not surprising way, pictures of this scene were spread by many female fans because it was aimed at them… though a part of them, was also honestly appalled at seeing this scene in contest, finding the forced stripping humiliating and degrading.

Sure, a naked Tom Hiddleston makes a nice eye-candy but this wasn’t how Loki’s many fans wanted to see Loki naked.

But let’s talk of female representation here, since the show seems to be interested in female audience… only who even though this was the representation women wanted doesn’t understand much of women representation in the first place.

Why?

For start because women here are all the same type of woman.

Strong fighters who’re in control and confident, with no real characterization beyond this to speak of despite the large amount of screen time.

Renslayer is an ex-hunter who can fight one on one against Sylvie and who clearly has the position of power she has because she was good as a hunter and shows her abilities in fighting after that Sylvie had beaten 2 guards at the same time. B-15 is introduced by beating Loki and is the commander of a squad. C-20 is another commander and, albeit possessed, can dispose of a part of her squad members.

Do I need to spend words on how Sylvie is depicted as this awesome fighter who has learnt to fight by herself, can keep at bay more than 1 Minuteman, can use a sword, has learnt enchantment on her own and is feared by all the TVA? Do I?

And it’s awesome to have women who are strong fighters in positions of command/power/control… but why women has to be represented as just that?

Even when they add a female as an one episode cameo, it's Sif, beating the hell out of Loki. And what about the Lady in Lamentis 1 who was too old to be strong but managed to blast away both Loki and Sylvie seeing through their deceptions?

Even the harmless Miss Minute can avoid being hit by Loki and gets she has to pretend to do researches to stall Sylvie and save Renslayer.

Women kick asses here… but that’s all they’re good for.

And so we get to Sylvie, who is the superior Loki Variant… because she’s female.

Kid Loki: You're different. Why? Loki: No, I'm not, you see? I'm the same, really. I'm the same as all of you. Have any of you met a woman Variant of us? Classic Loki: Sounds terrifying. Loki: Oh, she is. But that's kind of what's great about her. She's different. She's not trying to take over the TVA, she's trying to take it down. And she needs me. Now, you said Alioth is what keeps us here. You said it's a living thing. You said it's a shark. Well, if it lives, it dies. So I'm gonna kill the shark. I'm gonna kill Alioth, and I could use all the help I can get.

That’s what Loki preaches to his fellow Lokis who think a woman Loki would be terrific.

I mean, they’ve an alligator Loki, a POC Loki, but the one who has to be different is the female Loki. Because being female is a character trait.

Mobius: Okay. I feel like I'm always looking up to you. I like it. It's appropriate. [Ep 1]

Basically females in the “Loki” series are all representation of the Action girl trope and aren’t even different representation of said trope. I mean, “The Avengers” have 5 actions boy who’re clearly as different as they could be. Girls can be represented as different too, if they really aim at young audience they can take good old “Sailor Moon” as an example. 5 action girls who are strong and determinate AND DIFFERENT, more than just someone who kicks the adversary away.

And it’s not like they don’t know how to characterize people in a different way.

Mobius is an analyst who shows sympathetic traits toward the Variants and a certain level or intelligence. U-92 and D-90 are hunters who are shown to held Variants in little regard (U-92 wanted to attack the boy they found in the church, D-90 mistreated the scared people in the shelter). Casey is an harmless and naïve guy who had never seen a fish. The guy who made Loki sign the papers about what he said seemed emotionless but he clearly loved cats as not only he had one but on his cup there was also the image of a cat. Martin is clearly a bossy daddy’s son, who think too high of himself to the point he can’t respect rules. The boy in the church, despite thinking Sylvie was a demon, accepted and ate food she gave him and remained in the place despite the crime. He’s clearly more brave than he looked like but he’s also naïve as he easily trusted ‘the demon’ and Mobius.

What’s C-20 character trait when she gets described by Sylvie?

Sylvie: Yeah. She was just a regular person on Earth. Loki: A regular person? Sylvie: Loved margaritas.

She’s a regular person who loves margaritas. Liking a drink is not a character trait!

There’s a more diverse female representation in “Thor” than in “Loki”.

In “Thor” we’ve Frigga, queen of Asgard, loving mother and wife who’s powerless to erase Thor’s banishment. We’ve Sif, a dangerous and loyal warrior. We’ve Jane, the amazing scientist with a lot of enthusiasm. We’ve Darcy, who’s funny and who seems focused mostly on herself but who, when the city is attacked, worried to save all the animals at the pet store.

But maybe the one who gets the worst treatment is the supposed heroine, Sylvie, because the poor girl is turned into a Mary Sue.

In case someone isn’t familiar with the term:

“The prototypical Mary Sue is an original female character in a fanfic who obviously serves as an idealized version of the author mainly for the purpose of Wish Fulfillment. She's exotically beautiful, often having an unusual hair or eye colour, and has a similarly cool and exotic name. She's exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas, and may possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting. She also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing. She has an unusual and dramatic Back Story. The canon protagonists are all overwhelmed with admiration for her beauty, wit, courage and other virtues, and are quick to adopt her as one of their True Companions, even characters who are usually antisocial and untrusting; if any character doesn't love her, that character gets an extremely unsympathetic portrayal. She has some sort of especially close relationship to the author's favourite canon character — their love interest, illegitimate child, never-before-mentioned sister, etc. Other than that, the canon characters are quickly reduced to awestruck cheerleaders, watching from the sidelines as Mary Sue outstrips them in their areas of expertise and solves problems that have stymied them for the entire series.” [tvtropes.org]

So let’s see how she fits this checklist:

1) She's exotically beautiful, often having an unusual hair or eye colour: Sylvie painted her hair blonde even though the Lokis are supposed to be black haired

2) has a similarly cool and exotic name: She is the only Loki Variant who has changed her name from Loki to Sylvie.

3) She's exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas, and may possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting: Awesome at fighting she can enchant people, an ability the Lokis don’t posses, that she magically learnt on her own and that is necessary in the story. Also she figured out how a Tempad worked BEFOREseeing it in action.

4) She also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing: No flaws, all her plans involve fighting and brute force is no substitute for diplomacy and guile, which could be a flaw… if it wasn’t for the fact that the series will prove Sylvie can plan just fine without using fighting and brute strength and also be successful at it.

5) She has an unusual and dramatic Back Story: She was taken by the TVA when she was younger than Kid Loki but managed to escape them and had to live alone and on the run till then.

6) The canon protagonists are all overwhelmed with admiration for her beauty, wit, courage and other virtues, and are quick to adopt her as one of their True Companions, even characters who are usually antisocial and untrusting: Loki, who has never loved anyone, falls for her, Mobius saves her and apologizes to her, B-15, who used to look down at Variants, basically asks her what should they do and is shown admiring her, the Lokis don’t criticize her plan, Classic Loki dies to save her, everyone views her as the superior Loki Variant.

7) if any character doesn't love her, that character gets an extremely unsympathetic portrayal: Renslayer, the hunter who has arrested her, is currently playing the part of the antagonist who’s fascist and believes in a murderous, lying cult.

8) She has some sort of especially close relationship to the author's favourite canon character — their love interest, illegitimate child, never-before-mentioned sister, etc.: She’s the Variant and love interest of the titular character.

9) Other than that, the canon characters are quickly reduced to awestruck cheerleaders, watching from the sidelines as Mary Sue outstrips them in their areas of expertise and solves problems that have stymied them for the entire series: Loki, the title character, has conveniently been turned into someone who’s a weak fighter and incapable of planning which Sylvie has to save by enchanting guards or giving him her sword or pruning herself or teaching him how to enchant and coming up with all the plans.

Now all she needs in order to be a perfect Mary Sue is to know how to sing well as Mary Sue usually do this as well, though I’m sure she can do it because Loki could so she surely can.

Sylvie is amazing, Loki himself said so:

Loki: No. We may lose. Sometimes painfully. But we don't die. We survive. I mean, you did. You were just a child when the TVA took you, but you nearly took down the organization that claims to govern the order of time. You did it on your own. You ran rings around them. You're amazing!

There’s nothing inherently wrong in having a new female character who’s competent, for whom the hero falls and who changes him… if all this is built around a solid plot.

Think at “Iron Man”.

Tony Stark is, to quote Tony Stark himself a “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist”.

It’s amazing, isn’t it? But the movie shows us why he’s that.

It spends time setting up his pedigree, how he inherited the money and intelligence from his father, how he was supported as he grew and studied becoming always a greater genius. Tony shows himself to be charming before seducing his first woman onscreen so that when he does it makes sense. His philanthropic activities are, at first, just mentioned but seems rooted in how his father was a hero who helped fighting Nazi and then they became his mission. He felt guilty he was a merchant of death and tried to make up for it.

Sylvie too could have a solid plot behind herself.

Instead than magically knowing what a TemPad does and how it works and managing to escape with it, she could have escaped with, let’s say, a hunter that discovered the truth and decided to rebel to the TVA or just had pity of her. Maybe another Mobius Variant who used to work at the TVA prior to Mobius and that, instead than an analyst was a hunter. She might have learnt fighting from him and then he too died and she was left alone.

Enchantment might have been an ability she might have learnt coming in contact with a mind stone. It could have been an occasion also to talk how mind stones can influence people negatively. Or it could have been taught to her by Frigga who, with a female daughter, decided to teach her a different type of magic than Loki.

Her past could have been explored more instead than being tragic for the sake of tragic. We might have seen her fall in love and either be betrayed or have to say goodbye to her loved one because that reality got pruned. We might have seen her being interested in males and females alike as she’s supposed to be interested in both.

She could have had discussions with Loki that weren’t just about Frigga or about how the TVA kidnapped her from Asgard, she escaped and from that point on she was always on the run, or about how love didn’t feel real, but more about how they were, how they felt, what hurt them and what made them happy, what they liked and what they disliked, their ideals and their fears, things that can built up a relation.

Loki basically fall for her because she’s on a mission for revenge instead than power and seems confident. That’s his reasoning.

She falls for Loki… because apparently he’s the person who spend time with her who praised her. That’s not a solid love story, that’s desperation.

SYlvie could have flaws, she could have learnt diplomacy or persuasion from Loki or could have something she lacks and Loki has so that they would complete each other.

And since the purpose was to have Sylvie and Loki fall for each other… they could have let Loki have characteristics that can motivate the exceptional heroine to fall in love for him PRIOR to him falling in love for her. He might be shown good at something, instead than just a clown.

Even if we say the real purpose of this series was to turn Sylvie into the protagonist, the heroine, a good Loki character was still needed to explain why this awesome girl would fall for him.

So okay, there will surely still be women who can see themselves in Sylvie and imagine they got Loki… and it’s not bad really… but I think we deserved more.

Long story short, yes, “Loki” has many females in its cast and this is meant to draw the female audience… but the representation is poor as almost all of the females have no character traits and Sylvie is just a Mary Sue with no realistic characterization.

A good female representation is diverse and solid. Women don't need to be born irrealistically perfect out of nothing to be good, they can inherith and grow and learn to be as such like any human being.

Last but not least…

PART 5 – DOES “LOKI” REALLY OFFERS REPRESENTATION TO THE LGBT COMMUNITY?

BC: There is a lot of talk on social media about Loki being gender fluid. Wouldn't that actually be a natural fit for the character? MW: Yeah, I guess as, with all questions pertaining to that stuff, I think those answers, truly, are best experienced in the watching of the show, as opposed to me trying to answer them. Because it's just watching it and the way that's addressed and everything will just be more fulfilling. BC: Why do you think it's important that Loki is gender fluid? MW: I think that Loki is a character that a lot of fans see representation in. People that haven't felt represented before, and they see themselves in Loki and everything. So we want to do justice to the character, to who the character is in the comics and in Norse mythology as well. And you also … you know you want folks to feel represented, and everything. That's why it's important. It always has been. It comes from everybody on the creative team. [Loki: Michael Waldron On Gender Fluidity, Mephisto, Time Travel & More]

The series hugely spread the info that this Loki would be fluid and Bisexual. The news were welcomed with delight and it’s awesome how the series didn’t hesitate to put it on paper.

Loki being fluid was written for everyone to see, and Loki having male and female interests was spelled out for everyone to hear.

IT’S A GREAT THING!

However…

It’s all we got.

It had no relevance into the plot whatsoever, it’s just a random info we’re given.

Him being fluid was on a paper along with his other data like eye colour and birth planet.

Him being interested in males and females seems to be put there just to imply he tried a large amount of people before deciding love didn’t feel real.

Assuming the other Lokis too were fluid, they actually found terrific the idea of a woman Loki in a not positive way. They weren’t interested or asking for clarifications about what Loki meant.

Loki’s bisexuality doesn’t even get a side story, them sending Fandral to beat Loki instead than Sif because Loki cheated on him or something. I’m not upset Loki ended up with a female, this is one of the possibilities of a Bisexual person. I’m upset that this was used merely to attract the audience but then wasn’t explored. They could have said Asgard was open minded with it, or disapproved it so Loki had to keep it hidden, or it could have been Sylvie who discussed some experience in that regard.

We were told over and over it was a show about identity. We expected it to be explored instead we were just told ‘ah, by the way, Loki is bisexual, let’s move on.’ And that was all.

Having representation from an important Marvel character is always important, especially considering the shortage of representation. But honestly I expected more.

PART 7 – TO SUM IT UP

Many of the people who worked in “Loki” are fantastic actors. They worked hard for this series, I can see they tried their best.

The premises for the “Loki” series are interesting.

We get a Loki who hadn’t experienced most of what happened in the movies yet, we make him confront with someone who knows his life, the one he lived and the one he was meant to live and we also make him confront with Variations of himself.

Loki has the Tesseract and the TVA has plenty of infinity stones, we could explore them.

The TVA itself have a fascist organization that dictates people’s lives and murders whoever tries to do differently, that goes so far as to brainwash the people working in it, which mistreats and belittle the Variants and establish a manipulative cult around the Time-Keeper with elements of police brutality which could be very actual.

Time travelling was the plot of "Avengers: Endgame" they could have tied the movie to the series, esplore the why some time travels were allowed and some weren't or their effects.

There were references to plenty of awesome comics they could take inspiration from.

But unless it redeems itself with the last episode… well, so far it’s failing to deliver what it promised due to a really poor plot which doesn’t give the characters a chance to be themselves or to be characterized as they’ve no real story nor real differences to speak of.

They’re given more time than a movie as they’re a series… but that’s no good excuse for wasting said time.

I’m still hoping the last episode will be spectacular, that it’ll manage to erase the messes of the other 5… but, as of now I’m disappointed.

I’ll just keep my fingers crossed and hope they’ll surprise me.

[tchallasbabymama]

All For Us Chapter 5

Hey y’all, hope you enjoy the chapter a day early! Check out my masterlist to catch up on this story or read my other ones. And, as always, reblogs and comments are more than welcome 🥰

Word Count: 5,471

CW: Mention of self-harm

Erik fidgeted in his chair as he waited for his family to walk through the door. He had seen each of them individually at least once, Shuri being the only one who never came back, but something about seeing them all together had him on edge. His right leg couldn’t stop bouncing, and he tapped his fingers on the arm of his chair impatiently. 

“Don’t worry, the Udakus are never on time,” Naomi reassured him as he looked to the clock for the second time in the last minute. Their appointment started five minutes ago.

“They run on CP time, huh?” he joked, trying to distract himself from his nerves. 

“CP time?”

“Colored people time...the name’s dated as hell, but basically Black people ain’t ever on time.”

“That is true of Wakanda as well,” she laughed. “Time is more of a suggestion here.”

“I can fuck with it,” he chuckled but was cut short by the thumping in his chest as the door opened, and T’Challa walked in, holding the door for the rest of the family.

“Your highnesses,” Naomi saluted them. “Please, come in and make yourselves comfortable.”

Naomi had arranged the chairs in her office so that the six of them sat in a circle. Mira sat between Erik and Ramonda, and Shuri chose the seat closest to Naomi. T’Challa sat between his mother and sister and threw a smile Erik’s way.

“Thank you all for coming here today. It is imperative that Erik has a healthy support system when he leaves here, and I just wanted to make sure we are all on the same page. I know you have each met with him individually, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to get it all out there and move forward as a unit. Now, I know we all want what’s best for Erik-”

Shuri scoffed, and Naomi turned to her.

“Princess, I heard you still have some reservations about him. Why?”

“He killed my brother,” she seethed.

“Shuri, I am right here,” T’Challa said, exasperated at her unwillingness to see past her anger.

“By the grace of Bast!”

“Shuri,” Ramonda chided.

“Queen Mother, if you don’t mind, I think this is a conversation that needs to happen between these two.”

Ramonda nodded and gestured for Shuri to continue.

“You’re only here because Nakia snatched a heart-shaped herb before he burnt the rest of them to the ground. It’s taken this long for them to even start growing again. All he does is destroy, and I don’t want him here. It’s bad enough you made me heal him, but now I have to look at him every day and pretend to like him, too?”

“You don’t have to like him, Shuri, but he is family-”

“That didn’t mean anything when he threw you over the falls or when he almost killed me, so why should it matter now?”

“Because I’m not that same person anymore,” Erik jumped in.

“Oh, sure. You’re just magically better all of a sudden,” she rolled her eyes and turned back to her brother. “How am I supposed to sleep at night knowing he’s in the palace?”

“Princess Shuri, Erik has been working very hard to overcome his anger and his past traumas. So much so that I see no need to extend his stay past what we originally agreed on.”

“Wait, really?” Erik’s face brightened, and he turned in his seat to look at Naomi.

“Yes. You have shown remarkable improvement, Erik.”

“You mean he can come home soon?” Queen Mother asked, prompting Erik and Shuri to feel very different ways about her use of the word “home.” Erik missed having one, and Shuri hated having him in hers.

“Yes, ma’am, he’ll be out of here in two weeks.”

Mira couldn’t contain her smile as she reached for his hand. They locked eyes, and yet again, the look in his eyes needed no words. They were glassy as they swelled with tears, and a couple fell while Naomi handed him the tissue box.

“What’s wrong, dear?” Ramonda asked.

“My bad,” he sniffled as he dried his tears. “I just really want to see Cupcake.”

“She wants to see you, too. I told her you were sick and had to get better before she could, but she’s been asking me about you damn near every second.”

“And me, as well. She is excited to meet you, cousin,” T’Challa chimed in. “‘Do you think daddy will like this?’, ‘When is he coming home?’, ‘Is daddy still sick?’, ‘Can you tell daddy I love him?’”

“Or my personal favorite, ‘Can we bring some to daddy?’ after dinner last night,” Ramonda added.

“She’s still a daddy’s girl, through and through,” Mira said with a sarcastic eye-roll, making Naomi chuckle.

“Yes, mine is the same way. It is quite frustrating,” she joked. “Now, I think it would be beneficial for us to go around the room and get it all out on the table. Princess Shuri already went, unless you have more to say…”

“No.”

“Ok, then King T’Challa, how about you go next?”

He nodded and looked to his cousin.

“I do not think I have said this to you yet, but I am genuinely sorry, Erik-”

“Stop, you didn’t do anything.”

“I know, but I needed to say it. I am also sorry I disobeyed your wishes; that was something I should not have done.”

“I’ll say,” Shuri mumbled under her breath.

“But I am glad that I did. Otherwise, we would not get to see this other side of you.”

“Thanks, man. I was in a bad place, obviously, and, uh...I don’t know, I just felt like a failure...I felt like I had nothing to live for anymore...my pride was hurt.”

Mira slowly pulled her hand back and placed it in her lap, and Erik could feel the tension brewing beneath the surface.

“Anything else, my king?”

“Just that I hope we can move past all of this and build a relationship. You are my cousin, and I am determined to love you whether you want me to or not.”

Erik and Mira both smirked at the king. They were thankful for the kindhearted man and his insistence on cleaning up the bad blood in his family. 

“Queen Mother, do you have anything you would like to share?”

“Yes, actually,” she reached into her bag and pulled out something that had been gift-wrapped. She handed it to Erik, and he looked at her in confusion. “Go ahead, open it.”

Everyone looked on with intrigue as he ripped at the paper, revealing a gold picture frame. Erik flipped the frame over and a lump formed in his throat.

“This is from a gala for the Pan African Council in 1991. It was one of the two times I met him.”

Drops of water splashed on the picture of N’Jobu, and Erik looked up for a leak in the ceiling before he realized the tears were flowing from his eyes. He grabbed another tissue and passed the box around when he realized the others were getting misty-eyed as well. Even Shuri. 

“I, uh...I don’t know what to say...thank you, Auntie,” he croaked as he got up and pulled her into a hug. Mira took the opportunity to take a look at the picture. They had the same look in their eyes, but feature-wise, Erik had to have taken after his mother. There was no doubt about it though, those deep brown puppy dog Udaku eyes were front and center.

Erik sat down, and she handed the photo back to him.

“May I see?” T’Challa asked, and Erik passed it to him, watching as Shuri took a look over his shoulder to see it too. Her face softened a little more, and Erik could swear she saw a hint of sadness there. He passed it back, and Erik simply stared at the photo, fingers lightly caressing the fame.

“Alright, lastly, we have Mira. Anything to add?”

“Not really,” she shook her head.

“Well, then may I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

“Earlier, you seemed upset when Erik mentioned not having anything to live for. Care to expand on that?”

“Not really.”

“Mira...you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then how did you mean it, Erik? You said you have nothing to live for, yet your daughter and I were sitting at home waiting for you.”

“I wasn’t in my right mind, Mira. All that mattered was the mission. I lost myself to it. Actually, I lost myself a long time ago, but at the time, nothing could’ve pulled me back...not even you or Imani.”

“What if it happens again. Not for this, but for something else? What if you start working again and go back to your old ways? What then?”

“I won’t.”

“How am I supposed to trust that, Erik?”

“Mira, I’d like to jump in if you don’t mind.”

Mira shook her head and gestured for Naomi to continue.

“I understand your hesitance, but I assure you, I have the utmost faith that Erik has changed. His behaviors were tied to his trauma, and we have been able to work through his feelings of grief, anger, guilt, and self-loathing.”

“Self-loathing?” Queen Mother asked.

“Erik, would you care to…”

“Yeah, sure,” he cleared his throat. “I, uh, sort of hated myself for a long time. Everybody I loved died, and I had some sort of...what did you call it?”

“Survivor’s remorse.”

“Yeah, survivor’s remorse. I felt guilty for not dying.”

Mira looked up at him and her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to keep the tears at bay.

“Then I felt guilty for all the shit I did to survive, and how violent I became...then the self-hate kicked in when I realized how good I was at it.” His fingers ran over the scars on his forearm, and he took a deep breath. “These aren’t trophies. They’re my sins.”

The room fell silent.

“How many?” Shuri asked tentatively.

“You don’t wanna know.”

“I do,” Mira chimed in. “I’ve tried counting them, but you’re such a light sleeper it’s impossible. I can guess though...I got to five hundred once before you woke up one morning.”

“I don’t want you to look at me differently-”

“Erik, you don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to, but nobody here will look at you any differently if you do. Right?”

Everyone agreed, even Shuri. 

Erik took a deep breath and hung his head before speaking, “Three thousand and nine scars...three thousand and nine people are dead because of me.”

“You’re not that person anymore, Erik,” Naomi reminded him.

“Yeah, but what if I am?”

“You’re not,” Mira reached for his hand again.

“How do you know?”

“Cousin, I can guarantee you that even in the short time we have known each other, you have changed.”

“Erik, you should trust yourself more. You’ve been given the tools you need; you just have to use them.”

He nodded slowly, taking in Naomi’s wise words.

“It also helps if you’re surrounded by people who love and support you.” She turned to Shuri, “Princess, let us work through your feelings.”

“I already said what I needed to say. I don’t trust him...but I’m not saying it’ll be like that forever. Just for now, I still don’t.”

“And why is that?”

“Have you ever had someone try to kill you?”

“No, I can’t say that I have.”

“You never forget the look in their eyes.”

“I understand you, sister. It is not an easy thing to get past...however, it is possible. Look at him now. Do you see those same eyes?”

Erik looked at Shuri, and her stone face softened a little but still stayed pretty wooden.

“No.”

“Look, I get it...I’m your T’Chaka, but I don’t wanna be that person anymore. Not to Mira, not to Imani, not to y’all-”

“Don’t forget yourself. You’re doing this for you, too,” Mira chimed in, and Erik nodded.

“We are still working on self-love, but I feel that the next two weeks will be fruitful,” Naomi said, closing her notebook. “Is there anything else you all need to get off your chests?”

“I have one more thing,” Mira said as she sat up in her chair and turned her body to face Erik.

“I never told you what happened after you left,” she said, trying to keep it together. “I, um...I got depressed again, like when Imani was born. It wasn’t pretty, but I made sure she was good. I couldn’t eat. All I wanted to do was sleep. It got so bad I had to quit my job and go live with Stefan and Havana. I know that’s what you suggested in the first place, but I thought I could handle it on my own. I’m basically a stay-at-home mom now; I take care of the kids while Stef and Ana are at work...cooking and cleaning, and all that jazz. I never thought I would like that life, but it’s nice, and it’s a good way to repay them for letting us stay there. You wouldn’t believe how big SJ is now, and they have a new baby Daveed...things are different now, but it’s nice.”

“Have you...are you seeing anybody?”

“No, but I tried dating...didn’t work out.”

Erik tried and failed to hide the smirk on his face.

“I can’t say I’m sorry about that, but I am sorry about what I put you through, Mira. I shouldn’t have left you two.”

“I know you know that now; I just wish you knew it then.”

He pulled her hand to his lips for a kiss, and she let him.

“Are we still separated?”

Both Ramonda and T’Challa’s eyebrows raised. Neither of them was aware that the two had been having marital problems. T’Challa never even thought to ask.

“Erik, I need to tell you something…”

His breath hitched in his throat.

“I’m not saying it’s what I want now...but I was going to serve you with divorce papers. I had them drawn up and everything. They just needed your signature, but I couldn’t bring myself to give them to you. I was going to give them to you when you came back...if you came back.”

“And now?”

“Now...I don’t know, Erik. I think I have to get to know this new you to decide.”

“That’s fair.” He said to the ground before lifting his head and looking Mira in her eyes. “I’m gonna make you want to marry me all over again, though. Watch.”

--------

“If you don’t sit still, you’re going just like this,” Mira fussed as she tried to braid Imani’s hair. 

“No, I’ll stop!” Imani tried her best not to move, but the pillow she was sitting on was starting to get uncomfortable, and she was getting antsy. Every second that passed brought her one step closer to meeting her daddy, and she couldn’t wait. All she had to do was get through the school day. 

Mira smirked and tilted Imani’s head to the side to start on the last braid right as Shuri walked into the living room and plopped in the chair across from them. 

“Rough night?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

Over the past two weeks, Shuri had been slowly opening up to the idea of Erik living in the palace, but when she closed her eyes at night, she just kept seeing him lurking over her bed, ready to strike. 

“Something on your mind?” Mira asked through gritted teeth that held a tiny black rubber band.

“No, just...apprehensive.”

“About Erik?” Mira mouthed to her so Imani couldn’t hear. Shuri nodded and sunk deeper into the chair with a sigh. Mira finished up Imani’s last braid and put a couple of beads on the end before kissing the top of her head. “Ok, you’re done. Can you go get dressed?”

“Ok, mommy!” Imani took off, but before Mira could tell her to slow down, T’Challa came around the corner and scooped her up, planting a kiss on her cheek. Imani’s giggles erupted throughout the expansive living area and forced Shuri to crack a smile.

“Why are you running in my palace?” he playfully chastised her.

“I’m happy I get to meet my daddy. If I put my school clothes on fast, it’ll happen faster!”

“Well, let’s make it even faster then!” T’Challa took off with her down the hall, leaving Shuri and Mira in the living room laughing at his shenanigans.

“When is he gonna have one of his own?”

Shuri’s eyes rolled all the way to the back of her head. “As soon as he stops chasing after a woman who wants to live on the other side of the planet.”

“Nakia still giving him the runaround?”

“Girl, you don’t know the half of it,” Shuri complained. “Maybe you or Erik can talk some sense into him.”

“Maybe...you seem to be warming up to the idea of him lately. How are you feeling?”

Shuri sighed and sat forward in her chair, resting her elbows on her thighs. “I won’t lie and say I’m thrilled, but I understand him better now, and I trust my brother’s judgment. And mama’s. And yours...I want him to be in Imani’s life, but it is just hard to forget his face in that moment, you know?”

Mira nodded, “I don’t, but I do.”

“Maybe seeing him in a new light with you and Imani will help,” Shuri shrugged.

“I hope so.”

“Me, too.” 

Just then, T’Challa re-entered the room, “The princess is having trouble deciding which outfit to wear.”

“That’s my queue,” Mira got up from the couch and washed off her greasy hands before strolling down the hallway to help out her little fashionista. She and T’Challa had already laid out three outfit choices, so it just came down to which one she thought her daddy would like best.

“I want to look nice to meet him, but I don’t know which one looks better.”

“Can I give a suggestion?”

“Mhm,” Imani nodded with her brows creased as she thought really hard over which outfit to pick.

“How about the gold sandals from Lala with this two-piece? Yellow looks good on you, and the sandals match your backpack. You’ll look like a little ray of sunshine.”

“Hmmm...Ok!”

“Glad I could help,” Mira chuckled.

“I’ll wear my yellow outfit if you wear your blue one just like it.”

“It’s a deal,” Mira threw over her shoulder as she left the room to go change. When she entered the living room, her cousins and Auntie all smiled at the two of them. Imani’s yellow Ankara print tube top and harem pants matched perfectly with Mira’s blue ones. The only difference was Mira had on some crisp white sneakers and big gold Fulani earrings. 

Mira walked Imani to school the same way she did every day, but this time her head was in the clouds. Even Imani was quiet on the way, the butterflies in both of their stomachs working overtime. When they reached the classroom, Imani turned to her mom, looking at her face that surprised Mira.

“What’s wrong, baby?” She crouched down to her level.

“What if daddy doesn’t like me?” she poked her lip out, and Mira knew she had to act fast before it started quivering, and the tears started falling.

“Like you? He loves you more than anything in this world!” she said excitedly while tickling Imani’s ribs and making her laugh. “He loves you just as much as I do, baby girl.”

“He does?”

“Of course, you’re his Cupcake.”

“Cupcake?”

“Mhm, that’s what he used to call you because you’re so sweet.” Mira pretended to gobble up Imani’s fingers, making her giggles chase away any doubts she had about her father. “Now, you  ready for school?”

“Yes, ma’am,” she said excitedly.

“Alright, I’ll see you at 2. Be good.” Mira kissed Imani’s cheek and stood back up to her full height.

“I will, mommy. Sala kakuhle!” she waved goodbye and ran to go play with her friends while Mira sent the teacher a smile before heading back to the palace. 

When Mira was nervous, she liked to busy her hands with something, so she took some time to anxiously clean and organize her already clean quarters. She would have to sit in on another council meeting shortly, and although she wasn’t looking forward to having all that attention on her again, she was determined to go in there with her head held high.

Just as she started scrubbing the sink, her alarm went off telling her it was time for the meeting. She washed her hands and squeezed lemon juice on them to get rid of the bleach smell before leaving her quarters and traveling to the business side of the palace. When Mira entered the throne room, she slid into the empty seat between Ramonda and Shuri just as T’Challa started speaking.

“As you all know, Erik will be discharged from Ithemba Center today at noon, and we have the press conference scheduled at five. He has already been briefed on it, and while he is still apprehensive about addressing the nation, I have worked with him over the last week and it seems as though he will be fine. Any questions regarding the press conference?” The council members shook their heads and T’Challa continued, “Now, I have spoken to each of you about his community service, and have finally decided on the order. I would like him to start with the Jabari as a member of their fire and rescue team, then transfer to mining vibranium before moving to border patrols. Then he will work at the River tribe’s animal sanctuary, and he’ll end his service by working as janitorial staff in the market. The order is subject to change if necessary.”

“My king, are we sure we can trust him in the Mining and Border provinces?” Tendayi, the River tribe elder spoke out, making Dama and W’Dani nod along.

“Yes, I have faith in him. Any other questions?”

Mira tentatively raised her hand, not sure if she was allowed to talk or not. T’Challa nodded her way, and she cleared her throat before speaking, “I was wondering if we could move with him? He’s been away from Imani so long and once he comes back, I don’t want to disrupt her life any more than it’s already been disrupted.”

“That is understandable. Housing for the three of you will be provided in each province.”

“Thank you,” she turned to the elders, “and I don’t want to be a freeloader, so if there’s anywhere I can help out just let me know.”

“Mira, of course you and Imani are welcome to stay with us, but if you really want something to do we can find a job for you, too.” Ife stated as the other council members nodded along in agreement. 

“I’d like that. I need something to do,” she chuckled. “Thank you.”

“We will work something out,” Dama winked her way.

“We will miss the two of you around the palace, but I think that is a great idea. You will be provided with transportation to get Imani to school.”

“Thank you,” Mira smiled.

“You are welcome. Now, is there anything else?” T’Challa was met with silence as he checked the time on his beads and looked back at Mira. “Good, it is about time we go bring him home.”

Mira’s heart thumped in her chest as she nodded.

“Meeting adjourned.”

The council members filed out of the room, sending well-wishes to Mira as they went. 

--------

Erik happily signed his discharge paperwork, but his internal celebration was cut short by a knock at his door. He half expected it to be Mira, but he looked up and saw Naomi in his doorway. 

“How are you feeling today?”

“Excited and nervous.”

“I bet,” she chuckled. “Remember what we talked about, and you will be fine.”

Erik nodded and took a deep breath.

“Ready to go? I will walk you out.”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Erik took a deep breath and they walked through the facility in silence before they reached the lobby. There stood T’Challa and Mira with huge smiles on their faces that infected Erik as soon as he saw them. Mira pulled him into a hug and held him tight as she rocked him from side to side.

“I’m so proud of you, Erik.”

“As am I, cousin.”

Mira let Erik go and he dapped T’Challa up, pulling him into a hug next.

“Thanks. Both of you...I couldn’t have done all this without you.”

Mira wiped a stray tear from her eye and looped her arm around his. “Let’s go home.”

“Home, huh? I like the sound of that,” he mused.

The three of them made their way back to the palace where they were greeted by a tearful Ramonda and a still apprehensive Shuri. She sent him a small smile, though, and that was enough for him. The family sat around the kitchen table talking and laughing as if it had always been that way, and Erik found their familiarity to be a comfort he hadn’t felt in a long time. Ramonda constantly pushed food in Erik’s direction, and even though he had a late breakfast he just couldn’t say no. He stuffed his face full of eggah and freshly squeezed mango juice until he had his fill and sat back in his chair with his hands resting on his full stomach.

“I’m ready for a nap. Where am I staying?”

“This week you will be in the palace, as well as during your time working for the Merchant tribe-”

“You’re gonna hate it…” Mira sang under her breath with a wry laugh, making T’Challa smirk.

“But, other than that, you will be staying with the various tribes during your volunteer time.”

“What exactly am I supposed to be doing?” he sent a suspicious look Mira’s way.

“We can discuss that later. For now, let us get you settled in.”

Erik nodded and followed behind Mira and T’Challa as they walked through the winding palace hallways. They took him to his living quarters, and he was pleasantly surprised to see that he would still be living with Mira and Imani.

“I didn’t know if you’d want me with you or not.”

“Oh, you’re sleeping in the guest room...but I wanted you close for Imani.”

“Fair enough,” Erik nodded and walked around the space, checking it out.

“I will leave you two alone to get settled in,” T’Challa turned and left the space.

Mira looked at her beads. “You might want to go ahead and get ready, we’ll be leaving in thirty minutes.

“Leaving?”

“Mhm, we have to pick up Imani from school.”

“W-we do?”

“Yeah...are you ok?”

“Nah. What if she doesn’t like me?”

Mira bursted out laughing and caught him off-guard. “She asked me the same thing this morning.”

Erik just smiled and shook his head. He had nothing to worry about.

“Just like her daddy, huh?”

“Just like him,” she smiled back.

“I guess I should get ready, then. I want to make a good first impression.”

“Erik, you’ll be fine…I promise. She already loves you.”

He stood and kissed her forehead before turning and walking towards the bathroom, pulling his shirt over his head. Mira tried to avert her eyes, but his rippling back muscles called to her. Her face felt hot, and she bolted out of the room, hoping he didn’t notice how flustered he made her.

He did.

A little while later, Erik emerged from the bathroom very well moisturized and followed by a cloud of steam. He stood there for a few minutes in his towel, staring at the clothes in his huge closet, not knowing what to put on his body.

“Mira!” he called to her in the other room. She playfully rolled her eyes and headed his way, already knowing what he wanted. Like father, like daughter.

“You rang?” she stood in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest, trying like hell to keep her eyes above his collarbone. 

“I don’t know what to wear.”

“Wakandan or American?”

“Uh, American, I guess.”

“Do you want to match Imani?”

His face lit up, and she took it for a yes, pulling out a pastel yellow t-shirt and a pair of jeans with matching sneakers. 

“This outfit with gold accessories.”

“Thanks,” he grinned at her, and Mira tried not to get lost in his dimples. She was failing miserably, so she left him to his own devices. She missed the satisfied smirk on his face.

--------

Erik could feel the eyes on him as he walked through the city with Mira and T’Challa. Some were cold, but most were simply confused by his presence. 

“Ignore them,” Mira whispered up to him, and he nodded, taking a deep breath. He wasn’t going to let anything ruin this moment. 

They arrived at the elementary school and Mira went in to get Imani while the two men waited outside. As soon as Imani saw her mother, she jumped down and ran over to her.

“Hey baby girl, how was your day?”

“Good! I made a new friend,” she said proudly.

“You did? I’ll have to meet them sometime soon. Right now we have to go see daddy,” Mira’s eyes flashed with mischief and Imani’s joy radiated throughout the room. “Ready?”

Imani was so happy she could barely speak, so she just nodded her head. Mira waved goodbye to the teacher, and the two of them traveled back down the hallway hand in hand.

Erik’s fingers tapped his thigh in rapid succession and he chewed on his bottom lip.

“I can hear you overthinking, cousin.”

Erik started pacing back and forth and was about to open his mouth to say something when the doors to the school swished open. T’Challa held his hand up and started recording with his beads.

“Daddy!” Imani saw Erik and dropped her backpack as she ran to him. For a moment, he was frozen in time, but as she got closer he snapped out of it and crouched down for her to run into his arms.

“Hey, Cupcake,” his voice cracked as he held her tight. Her little arms wrapped around his neck like she never wanted to let him go, and he couldn’t help the tears that streamed from his eyes. Mira and T’Challa tried their best to hold it together, but neither could blink the tears away.

“What’s wrong?” Imani heard him sniffle and pulled back to look at his face.

“Nothing, baby, I’m just happy to see you.” He closed his eyes and said a silent prayer to Bast to thank her for letting him live another day to see his daughter once more.

The four of them walked back to the palace with Imani talking Erik’s ear off the whole way as he carried her on his hip. The first thing she did when they got there was to show him her dolls, all of which were fully decked out in the most beautiful doll-sized finery T’Challa could get his hands on. Erik took in the sparkly purple walls and the finger paints by an easel in the corner of the room. Her canopy bed was the main attraction, though, and made her feel the princess she was.

“Damn, T did all this?” Erik asked as Mira entered the room behind him.

“Yep,” she laughed. “He’d do anything for that little girl.”

“Remind me to thank him later…” he trailed off as his eyes caught sight of an enormous, stuffed jaguar by the window seat. A goofy smile took over his face, and Mira couldn’t help but swoon. Over the past few weeks of her getting to see Erik at Ithemba, she could tell his spirit was lighter. However, it wasn’t until the three of them were sitting in Imani’s room playing with her dolls that she thought Erik actually looked happy. And not just happy, but happier than she had ever seen him. His smiles actually reached his eyes for the first time since before he left for Wakanda, and she loved to watch the two of them interact with each other. Erik was a gentle giant when it came to his baby girl, and all his fierceness flew out the window when Imani started popping butterfly clips in his locs. 

Erik noticed Mira was lost in her thoughts, so he reached over and grabbed her hand. He squeezed it and looked into her eyes, once again conveying his soul with a single look. 

He was home for good this time. Next Chapter

Taglist: @ladymac82​, @kitesatforestp​, @harleycativy​, @raysunshine78​, @maddeningmayhem​, @theblulife​, @motheroffae​, @love-mesome-me​, @toni9​

[brightbeautifulthings]

Dance Upon the Air by Nora Roberts

"'It's a kind of magic, isn't it?' She sighed as the cool, moist breeze whispered over her face. 'To know what you want, to just know. And to get it.'"

Year Read: 2021

Rating: 4/5

About: Nell Channing arrives on Three Sisters Island with secrets and a new identity. Instantly charmed by the small town and fleeing a dark past, she takes a job as a cook in a café bookstore and quietly begins her new life. She can't fight her attraction to the town's sheriff, Zachary Todd, or the lure of the craft with her new boss, Mia. Nell knows there are things she'll never be able to reveal to either of them, but the past is closer than she thinks. On the island, she discovers a centuries-old curse that could destroy her new home and a power she never knew she had. Trigger warnings: parent death (off-page), abuse, domestic violence, stabbing, car accidents, severe injury, abduction. NSFW content.

Thoughts: When my two favorite ladies have the same favorite book series, it's long past time for me to read it. This was such a nice change of pace from everything else on my TBR. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to read something purely for enjoyment and without having to think too hard about it. This novel is delightfully absorbing, and I found myself moving quickly through the pages without any real hurry to see what happened next. The senses of place and character are palpable, and Roberts has created her own little world on Three Sisters Island.

Speaking of which, when can I move there? I know it's an idealized version of island life, which is often much harder than stories like this suggest, but this is a Nora Roberts novel, not a Peter Benchley one, and it's such a lovely, atmospheric illusion. I want to live in Mia's bookstore, be her new best friend, and eat at Nell's café every day. The characters are kind, interesting people I'd like to meet. The book almost doesn't even need magic to be compelling, but it's subtle and intriguing in a Practical Magic kind of way.

This first book is largely focused on Nell's story, and we get an in-depth look at her, past and present, and how what's happened to her has shaped the person she is now. She's an easy character to pull for, sweet but strong when it's needed, and the real arc of her development is seeing her work through some of her trauma and face the demons of her past. It's plenty to carry the novel, but I really like the way Roberts sets up the frame for the rest of the series with the island's curse and introduces us to the main characters of the next two novels, Mia (my queen) and Ripley. I'm interested to know their stories and to see more of the curse/magic system.

[fktonofwhatnow]

ok hold on. acomaf is my fave book out of the whole series (it's mostly out of emotional value, i read it when i was younger and didn't have a real understanding out trauma and abuse only that i saw a character i loved getting out of a bad situation and getting happy) so obviously i didn't mind feysand being endgame and the development all of the characters had. i can accept tamlin turned out like that is realistic due to his trauma, i can accept feyre had to flee because it wasn't right for her, but the thing is after acofs i see no point to feyre leaving tamlin when rhysand ends up doing everything they told us tamlin was evil and unredeemable for. hiding the risks of her pregnancy, putting on shields on her, having feyre need to compromise over it. i honestly felt so betrayed by that. i'm not saying feyre and tamlin were good for each other, but it doesn't feel worth it to dismiss the potential they had for what we got with feysand.

also, sarah learn to treat "ugly" trauma with respect challenge. no they don't need to learn to physically fight to fight it. no they don't need a love interest to overcome it. yes the behaviors acquired from trauma and abuse aren't pretty but that doesn't mean a person is undeserving of kindness and compassion.

i think i had a point somewhere but i can't get to it. so hope you don't mind my rambling. anyway i loved your meta about tamlin i think he deserves better too

HOLY SHIT THIS ONE IS SO GOOD OK IM SO EXCITED

Bro you are so fine, I'm the one who doesn't make any sense and I totally get what you're trying to say. (Acomaf was actually my favorite book in the series too ngl)

BUT FUCK YEAH LETS TALK ABOUT RHYSAND.

I don't think it's a secret that Rhysand is one of my least favorite characters in media, probably ever? (How do I even put this into words) He is a bad character and to me, laughably so. You know how if you've ever written a character, there's that little phase that's like "what if people don't like this character' and then you're sad for a little bit? That's how Rhysand feels to me. He feels like SJM looked at this character and thought "I can't stand the thought of people not liking this character because I love him so much" and then did everything in her power to make sure we know how great he is.

Idk if this is just me screaming into the void, but I get to this place with my characters where like, especially if they are a little more morally gray or their decisions have negative impacts, I understand that I don't need the audience to like my main character. they can stand on their own, they can own up to what they do and they can grow from it. Thats what a good character does. That's how you keep your audience rooting for them. You gotta knock them over sometimes.

SJm doesn't knock Rhysand over. She doesn't push him to make mistakes, apologize, own up and move on. Rhysand has never made a decision that ended poorly for him. Everything goes the way he wants it to, because SJm wants us to know how cool and great he is. People who are cool and great don't make bad decisions! SJm doesn't let Rhysand fail, and she doesn't let him suffer his own decisions. Everyone else suffers his decisions, not him.

Rhysand's reputation as a good person hinges entirely on the audience liking him and/or thinking he's hot. And then what happens when the audience thinks neither of those things? Ya get a rly long post like this by a lil enby who is mad all the time. Rhysand loses all credibility when you look at him through a critical lens. Not a single thing the man does makes any goddamn sense. Here I thought acosf would give us a different perspective on Feysand and I was desperately hoping that Nesta would tell us what she really sees in them and how people around them really feel, I hoped that SjM would throw us for a loop and tell us that hey, she does know that Feysand are fucking toxic as hell and ruin the lives of people around them and she wants to show us that from an outside perspective but noooOoOOOoOoOOOO...

Instead we get Nesta hating herself because Rhysand told her that she shouldn't tell Feyre that Feyre could uh die in childbirth. Hey what the fuck.

Now I don't actually ship feylin, I kinda always sorta knew, even without spoilers, that it wasn't going to work out. Tamlin isn't sjm's idea of a good partner because he's not charming and witty and dark and handsome ya know? We met Rhysand and I knew that I was going to fucking hate this romance. Which sucks because I found Rhysand so intriguing in the first book. Ngl all the time spent in the spring court was kinda boring and every time Rhysand showed up to throw dead faeries at Tamlin I was like "oooooo" and I wanted to know more about why Tamlin, this awkward, blunt and kinda shy dude had beef with this super duper sly and shady man from another court.

I don't know if I've ever said this before, but SJm doesn't let her love interests grow. Rhysand doesn't change over the course of the story because he was already a good guy and his motives were for Feyre's sake I swear, the same goes for Rowan in TOG. SJm doesn't give Rhysand room to change. She needs to get to the part where they fuck make sure everyone knows that Rhysand is a good guy and actually he was good all along so that we like him more than Tamlin. It backtracks on everything bad Rhysand has ever done because you know... He had a good reason! It's fine!

I know it's probably just because SJm doesn't actually know how to write a good character growth arc but... Like can you imagine if Rhysand stayed the bad guy? Or at least remained the bad guy through acotar and acomaf? And then when Rhysand comes to take Feyre for his bargain it really was only to spite Tamlin? What about Rhysand, taking Feyre to the night court with him once a week every month for a long time, if only to see Tamlin's eyes grow darker and emptier every time he goes, and then he really starts to fall in love with Feyre. He's been a monster all this time, angry and cold and cruel and then he actually starts to fall in love. And then to get Feyre to stay he really does try to change, he stops antagonizing Feyre, he stops throwing dead faeries at Tamlin, and he stops harassing the Spring court. He starts spending genuine quality time with Feyre, he starts to learn about her and all the things she likes and he stops trying to get her to come with him just so Tamlin will be mad. He starts asking her to come with him because he wants to be around her and he prays that someday she'll want to be around him too. What if SJm let him grow.

But nahhhhhh instead we have a character who always knows the right answer to things, and he always knows how to fix every issue, and he is always so innovative and outside the box except that he isn't. We get a character who does the same shit as Tamlin but it's ok because he had a good reason not to tell Feyre that she could very well die in childbirth. Uhhhh don't know what that is but uhhh I know he has his reasons because all he has are his reasons.

It would be so easy to hold a mirror up to Rhysand and say "look at this. Look who you are. Do you not look just like Tamlin right now?"

But nooooooooOoOOOo Rhysand doesn't get to be wrong. Rhysand doesn't get to look like Tamlin because Tamlin is evil and Rhysand is definitely NOT I SWEAR.

But yeah I think the point I'm trying to make is that Sarah thinks so highly of Rhysand that he could never do wrong. He could never be like Tamlin, despite the narrative literally telling us the exact opposite.

Like you said, we lost the potential of what feylin could have been if SJm didn't suddenly decide that her audience needs to love Rhysand as much as she does. I think feylin could have been slow and sweet and a story of true healing and learning about one another. I think it would have been kind and steady and lots of "are you ok"s and "I'm sorry"s and "talk to me"s. Everything about Feysand feels rushed and hard and fast and the rest of the world doesn't have time to catch up. It's fucking exhausting to read it ya know what I'm saying.

(also can we talk about Rhysand like dying and Feyre finding the suriel and learning he's her mate and then instead of being like "k let's put a pin in that and fuckin save his life first" she like throws him around and everyone is like "wtf woman" and she's like I neeD tO Be alOnE these people have no idea how to prioritize)

Truly, I think it's innocent to a degree. There is absolutely no harm in wanting people to like your character. The harm comes when you destroy another character with no reason or explanation other than you want people to like a different character. Villain arc? Completely out of left field. You gotta build to that shit or like... Make it so that when you look back you slap your forehead and yell at a wall "OF FUCKING COURSE I SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT"

anyways, SJm treat "ugly" trauma with respect challenge SECONDED.

WELL IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME WEEKS YO WRITE IM HAVING A HARD TIME I know it probably doesn't make any sense I can't find my braincells BUT thanks for the ask @xelly

Tell me all your acotar things I love yo hear them !!